At what point in our life do we make the transition from child to adult? Or more specifically, from a quasi-adult to full fledged adulthood? Obviously the answer varies, depending on the person asked and the criteria involved in determining what exactly constitutes being an "adult." I have thought at many points during my life that I was a grown-up, but looking back I realize I was grossly mistaken/naive/stupid/misinformed/fill-in-the-adjective-of-your-choice.
When I turned 18 I decided to celebrate my legal entrance into adulthood by getting a tattoo. I felt that by inking myself up I would shed my juvenile skin and leave all traces of immaturity behind. It occurred to me sometime later that not only did I pick tribal flash off the wall to get tattooed on my arm, but I was also working back drive-thru at McDonalds at the time. Not exactly the epitome of a modern man.
I though that moving to New York on my 24th birthday would be the next logical step, and for awhile I was on my way. I secured an internship/job at Now or Never Records and was paying over $500 a month rent sharing a tiny apartment with 2 others. Surely this was it. However, the label soon went under and I found myself working full-time as a waiter, partying with other like-minded people, and shirking responsibility to fully better myself (notwithstanding the internships at Star Boxing and Virgin Records).
After graduating university at the slightly unconventional age of 28, I found myself on a plane heading to China to teach at Yantai University. Without a doubt I would mature beyond my years. And while I did find myself accumulating life experience, knowledge, cultural appreciation, and subsequently showing my mettle and fortitude, I still did not feel like I had hit that plateau. This partially stemmed from my actual "teaching" experience, which seemed to me to be more of an exercise in mentoring the students, helping them with their grammar and pronunciation, and devising games for them to play so they would find themselves interested in learning English. 99% of the time I succeeded, but deep down I had a feeling that most people could have done what I did, if they had left their security blanket behind them and travelled across the world.
So I upgraded. I continued on to Hong Kong, where I now find myself at a much more legitimate university, teaching proper English courses, and simultaneously, finding myself even closer to "adult" nirvana. The reason for the change is, I believe, having a job in which you are respected, in which colleagues look at you almost directly instead of down on you from upon their soapbox. I have my own office and my own businesscards. On top of that, I find myself doing strange things like buying Italian silk ties and dress shirts in every color or thinking of what pair of wingtips would look best on me.
Though I find solace and happiness in where I am at this point of my life, I am now even more concerned with my next step. I have found myself stressing a bit too much as I plan for next year. Once again, as per usual with me, I can think of a few different paths I could take in my life. However, at this particular moment, I cannot stand behind any with complete conviction.
Decisions of the adult variety.
2 comments:
All I can say is when you came home this summer there seemed to be a new light inside you. As if you found something so special. You have changed for sure. In a great and inspiring way!
You'll know which path to take when you are standing at the crossroads. It will feel right at the time. No worries! I have faith in you!!!
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