Dead Sea Fruit

Dead Sea Fruit 2008-2011

2011-03-11T21:28:00.000+08:00

Dead Sea Fruit has passed on. In the spirit of Buddhists around the world, the blog will reincarnate as some other form, on some other platform. Announcements will be made here. It will be bigger, better, more relevant, and more frequently updated.

The circle of life, blog-style.

See you soon.

Days of Diaz

2011-01-16T19:17:00.000+08:00

Figured I would put up an essay I wrote last semester, touching upon the readability and polyglossia within Junot Diaz's The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao. Any comments here or on my twitter are welcome.

Ghettonerd and Beyond: Polyglot Discourses within Oscar Wao

In a 2008 interview with Meghan O’Rourke shortly after winning the Pulitzer Prize, Junot Diaz was asked whether he was worried that readers of his novel, The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao, might not be able to fully understand the significance of the book if they did not have a grasp of the Spanish language. Diaz replied, “I want people to research, to ask each other, to question. But also I want there to be an element of incomprehension. What’s language without incomprehension?” (2). Nonetheless, I would argue that Diaz’s levels of incomprehension are mild at best, for in his novel he writes in such ways that a multitude of different readers would be able to glean the necessary information needed to make sense of the text. Diaz incorporates his own style of polyglossic discourse, one in which he combines English, Spanish, academic footnotes, urban street slang and his own invented “ghettonerd” speak, in order to tell his story of three generations of a Dominican family in their homeland as well as their experiences in America. In this style, he is able to unite different levels of readership and produce a new form of neocolonial literature, one that could be read with equal aplomb by various individuals. Oscar Wao represents a modern approach to writing, one that is focused on worldwide matters and is not confined to a singular language or culture.

Besides dealing with basic human emotions of the Bildungsroman variety, the story also tackles the Dominican diasporic experience in America while simultaneously serving as a Latin-American dictatorship novel. In Mikhail Bahktin’s paper “Discourse in the Novel” he advances the idea of heteroglossia and defines it as “another’s speech in another’s language, serving to express authorial intentions but in a refracted way” (442). Within this larger heading of heteroglossia is Bahktin’s conception of the hybrid construction, defined as a juxtaposition of “two utterances, two speech manners, two styles, two ‘languages’” but belonging to a single speaker (426). It is the narrator of the novel, Diaz’s literary alter-ego Yunior, who employs the majority of this polyglossic discourse throughout the story. Take the opening paragraph of the first chapter, in which Yunior says about Oscar, “Our hero was not one of those Dominican cats everybody’s always going on about–he wasn’t no home-run hitter or a fly bachatero, not a playboy with a million hots on his jock” (11). This passage is relevant because it implies a multitude of possible meanings, and one could infer the basic gist without knowing exactly what the word bachatero (a Dominican slang word meaning either one who likes to carouse and act in a drunken manner or a musician) implies. Through this narrative voice, Yunior makes his point clear to readers that Oscar is no ordinary Dominican. By situating the Spanish word in the middle, the reader can guess the meaning through the examples sandwiched on either side (the home-run hitter an allusion to either the Dominican’s prevalence for exporting high caliber baseball players to America or a sporting metaphor that plays on his lack of sexual prowess, which in turn would correlate closer to the idea of a playboy with a million women wanting to get with him). Either way it is analyzed, it shows immediately how different Oscar is from the stereotypical Dominican male. Also, the usage of the double negative in the passage is the first example of the urban English grammar that the narrator will use throughout the text.

Max Abrams, in his essay entitled “Immigrants and Galactus: Junot Diaz’s world in The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao, states that “Diaz does not adjust to accommodate the reader, but instead forces the reader to make meaning from all these discourses at the same time and see into his reality. The result is the subversion of the power hierarchy of knowledge” (3). This is obvious throughout the text as a multitude of descriptions, metaphors, and examples are used to describe certain events, people, or things. When describing Oscar as a nerd, Yunior lists the authors that Oscar faithfully reads: “Lovecraft, Wells, Burroughs, Howard, Alexander, Herbert, Asimov, Bova, and Heinlein” (21). These writers are seemingly listed in an unfixed order, a mixture of horror, science fiction, and pulp fiction writers, some more well-known than others. Later, when describing more of Oscar’s peculiarities, Yunior claims, “Perhaps if like me he’d been able to hide his otakuness maybe shit would have been easier for him, but he couldn’t. Dude wore his nerdiness like a Jedi wore his light saber or a Lensman her lens” (21). This allusion is important because it references not only popular American culture (Star Wars) and the more specialized science fiction soap opera (Lensman series), but also throws in a Japanese word (Otaku, meaning technologically savvy but socially lacking youth) to attract a different readership, one that is more at home with anime and manga than with George Lucas or Doc Smith. In one of his David Foster Wallace-esque footnotes, Diaz says of Oscar, “Maybe it was that in the DR he had watched too much Spider-Man, been taken to too many Run Run Shaw kung fu movies, listened to too many of his abuela’s spooky stories about el Cuco and la Ciguapa?” (22). Again, Diaz shows the impetus for Oscar’s development with assorted references: the Stan Lee created American superhero; the Hong Kong media tycoon; the Hispanic folktales and legends. By bridging east and west, the new homeland with the old, Diaz aims to unify different readers. And while Diaz uses educated sources, he clearly does not want to alienate the less erudite reader. These examples show Diaz’s intent to blend different languages, ideas, and cultures into one large metaphorical melting pot; a panoply of sources high and low that will attract many and marginalize none. As Abrams incisively states, “Information is taken in equally, not ordered by its social and intellectual importance...The result is a natural narrative without the uncomfortable formalism often associated with novels that use numerous references and languages” (5).

Another example of narrative authenticity in Oscar Wao comes in the form of abundant code-switching. According to Ismail Talib, in his book The Language of Postcolonial Literature, he states that, “The use of code-switching in a literary work may depend on the author’s need to reflect the accuracy of language use by the characters” (145). Talib later adds, “The use of code-switching may be judged not only in terms of the accuracy of linguistic representation, but also on aesthetic grounds” (146). In the case of Oscar Wao these are both applicable. When Diaz has his character’s integrate Spanish into their English, it is not only stylistically pleasing, but also representational of actual bilingual speech, especially in Hispanic-American communities. Many emigrants to America feel the need to assimilate into their new culture, and besides soaking up the culture, they must also try to learn the language. And while the basic framework for English might be easy to grasp, the nuances of their first language are what enriches their meaning. The entire novel could be cited for examples of code-switching, but an important instance occurs when Yunior describes Oscar during his sophomore year in high school. Oscar had the tendency to balloon in weight when he was depressed and “it had become clear to everybody, especially his family, that he’d become the neighborhood parigüayo” (19). Here, Diaz uses the Spanish word parigüayo, a “corruption of the English neologism ‘party watcher,’” to describe Oscar (19). If he were to describe Oscar as just a party watcher, the true meaning of this designation would not be certain. However, by using parigüayo, which is a disparaging word stemming from the first American occupation of the Dominican Republic, Diaz manages to write back towards the center and affix a more flavorful and accurate depiction of Oscar’s role as an outsider looking in. Moreover, Diaz makes sure to spread the conscious language interference to other characters as well, most notably Oscar’s older sister Lola. After a particularly brutal argument with her mother, Lola reminisces about “The life that existed beyond Paterson, beyond my family, beyond Spanish” (55). Lola felt shackled by the reach her “Old World Dominican mother” employed over the family and yearned to break free, but she could not do so completely (55). “What it’s like to be the perfect Dominican daughter, which is just a nice way of saying a perfect Dominican slave,” she declares (56). Lola was mature, intelligent, a role-model to Oscar, yet conflicted in her own skin. She exclaims, “I was a fea, I was a worthless, I was an idiota” (56). It is interesting to note Lola’s injection of derogatory Spanish words (ugly and idiot respectively) into her list of characteristics, but more noteworthy is her inclusion of the article ‘a’ before adjectives without nouns (a worthless what? daughter? woman? Dominican?), another example of this hybrid urban grammatical structure. We could see the interference of Spanish in Lola’s English, a reminder that she could never leave the old world behind, that it would always be a part of her no matter how hard she tried to flee.

Finally, the “ghettonerd” vocabulary that Oscar speaks becomes one of the novel’s most endearing qualities. Oscar has a tendency to pepper his speech with large words in an attempt to distinguish himself even more as an individual. As Yunior says, “he used a lot of huge-sounding words like indefatigable and ubiquitous when talking to niggers who would barely graduate from high school” (22). He describes a girl in his SAT class as orchidaceous, refers to the same girl’s boyfriend’s penis as an anatomical enormity, talks about his love for writing speculative genres. When attempting to pick up a girl on the bus one day Oscar says, “If you were in my game I would give you an eighteen Charisma!” (174). He makes comments like, “I am ill fated, I am going to perish a virgin, I’m lacking in pulchritude” (176). No matter how hard he tries, Oscar cannot escape from who he is; a role-playing, comic- loving, sci-fi fanboy with an irrepressible urge to find love and to acquire that Dominican “hypermaleness” that is so prevalent in his world.

In these brief passages it is clear to see that Diaz is an alchemists of sorts, one who combines and mixes languages like potions and tries to create discourse gold. He does more than just capture and remold language; he fuses in into a unique substance and allows the reader the flexibility to play with it in different manners. While one may not be able to grasp all of his meanings, there is enough variety to convey his points. He wants people to research, to question, to find meaning in his text, and by doing so, a wide array of possibilities can be discovered. But even for those less bookish readers who cannot comprehend his multitude of references, there is still enough to ascertain.

Another Year Older

2011-01-11T20:30:00.001+08:00

So I recently signed up for Twitter (under the false pretense that I can use it as a free text-messaging service to my sisters) but really so I can stand on a soapbox and preach (about what, I'm not certain. Things pertaining to music, sports, books, and Hong Kong, I suppose).

So for all the fun ranting, please go here
http://twitter.com/Clint_Farewell

As for this blog, I 'redesigned' it and plan to put some longer pieces up. If by any chance you have stumbled across this blog, and want to write about music, literature, sports (especially boxing) or culture, then feel free to let me know. I would like to slowly turn this into a webzine-type thing.

Anything is welcome. In the near future I will be putting up some essays I wrote recently. In the meantime, come see me on Twitter.

Happy 2011!

Goodbye 2010

2010-12-31T20:03:00.000+08:00

Happy New Year! (all three of you)

2011 will bring wonderful changes to this blog. Here are the options:

1) Delete and start a Twitter account. What do I really have to say to the random handful of people that accidentally come across this page that I can't do in 140 characters or less?

2) Redesign it, throw up some ads, and try to make $0.40 a month.

3) Turn it into the coolest blog around, like that one of Kim Jong Il just looking at things...
http://kimjongillookingatthings.tumblr.com/

One of these three glorious choices will happen. Only you, and you, and maybe you over there, will have the final say.

Goodbye to 2010. We welcome a fresh start in a new calendar year. Be healthy and happy!

Things My Students Write (Lesson 1)

2010-11-27T22:46:00.000+08:00

The assignment: Write a process essay.

Fairly open-ended. I encourage creativity so I don't assign them specific assignments under the topics I am required to teach them. So it was write a process essay about something with which you have experience. Here is the first sentence from an essay titled: How to make girls chase you (as a man)

"Traditionally, girls are to be chasing and act as a chooser that, even if you have done everything "right" and have had social verification from girls that other than her, she will still not choose you actively."

WTF? Feel free to decipher.

Things My Students Say or Do (Volume 1)

2010-11-04T00:54:00.000+08:00

New column here at Dead Sea Fruit. Pretty self-explanatory. Your winner for Volume 1 is...

Giants Win!!!!!!!!!

2010-11-04T00:47:00.000+08:00

The San Francisco Giants are the 2010 World Series Champions! What a remarkable playoff run it was, as the Giants got stronger as they progressed. A truly awesome spectacle to watch, even if I was on the other side of the world doing so. I'll say it now. This team's core is nasty and they could very well be back next year. I'd like to hope so.

Anybody in California want to hire me?

Fear The Beard

2010-10-29T23:42:00.000+08:00

I am two San Francisco Giants victories away from moving to California. Unbelievable! Hopefully I do not jinx anything by typing this. Only time will tell.

It's actually kind of surreal to see the Giants in this position. I have been a fan since 1988 and they have only been in the Series twice (1989 and 2002, both losses). They have not won it all since 1954 and are in a position to win their first title since moving to San Francisco.

The vibe and electricity in San Francisco is palpable and I envy all those in attendance (Loo!) who are witnessing this colorful cast of characters play their best ball of the year.

This one is for Timmy, Kung-Fu Panda, The Beard, Smiles, The Bat, Uribe, Andres the Giant, Huff Daddy, Buster, Cain, Sanchez Squared, Bumgarner and the rest. Go Black and Orange!

Will Clark for President 2012.

You Don't Have to Come and Confess, We're Looking for You

2010-10-23T22:41:00.000+08:00

Forgot about this little guy. Shit happens.

Halloween is fast approaching and I would like to dress up as the Bed Intruder this year. A very cliché choice this year I'm sure, but one I feel I can pull off with aplomb.

Five words to describe my post-graduate classes this semester: "Basically...Rob and Son, Crucial".
If this makes no sense to you, then welcome to my world.

If this Giants-Phillies series goes to 7 games, I may keel over. On the other side of that coin, do I start looking for jobs in NorCal?

A Hullabaloo in 2502

2010-09-28T23:03:00.000+08:00

It's that time of the semester when things are starting to be put into motion. The formalities and introductions are done. Soon it will be a continual parade of marking exams, papers, and speaking presentations. And that is not counting all of the work I have to do at CUHK. I am already dragging a bit, feeling tired and sore, my age slowly creeping up on me and making its presence felt.

Events in the past week have made me take a step back and evaluate the things I hold dear to me. I can be a very selfish and stubborn person, but I am trying to better myself in every way possible. I know that things will continue on the right path.

List time.

Things I've been reading, watching, or listening to:

Beowulf- book
Misery
Leaving Las Vegas
Get Him To The Greek
A plethora of screamo (I hate this term, can we just call it passionate hardcore?) like Daitro, Suis La Lune, Sed Non Satiata, Envy, Touche Amore, Loma Prieta, etc.
End of a Year- You are Beneath Me
Animals as Leaders- Animals as Leaders

Much more that I am spacing out on.

Finally, one more week left in the MLB regular season. Giants are up by one game with six to play. If they make the playoffs, I will seriously consider moving to San Francisco in 2012. If they make the World Series, I will definitely move there in 2012. If they win it all, I may spontaneously combust. You heard it here first.

Is This Really Happening?

2010-09-23T22:40:00.002+08:00

Well, is it?

The Big Show

2010-09-11T14:50:00.000+08:00

Read a great piece today on the sad story of former Major League Baseball pitcher Eric Show, best known for allowing Pete Rose's record-breaking hit as well as sporting one of the tightest mustaches of the 80s. An eccentric by sporting standards, he had his share of bad luck follow him around and ended up addicted to drugs. Read it here:

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/otl/news/story?id=5543839

In other news; Umbrella etiquette: Why does no one in Hong Kong have it? If you've ever been out in the rain in Hong Kong, you'll know all about it. Not to be confused with Sunbrella etiquette. Get at me before I lose an eye to a Tai-tai's umbrella spoke.

Crackle

2010-09-09T21:36:00.000+08:00

The thunderstorm with heavy, relentless doses of lightning that rocked Hong Kong last night was pretty intense. Some of the bolts seemed to touch down nearby, and at one time a crackle and flash of dull red exploded just outside the window, bathing the inside of the apartment for a few seconds. Heavy stuff.

Speaking of heavy stuff I listened to Trenches- The Tide Will Swallow Us Whole today. Mid 90s Zao meets Isis at a Deftones show. Pretty good for a 2008 release in an overcrowded genre. If you want it, let me know.

Why the sudden rash of music posts? Not sure. I've been listening to more recently, at least more than I had been for the past few months. Sometimes you just want to vent, type the words to make them more real, jot them down for posterity. An audio album in the written word.

Better to be diligent than idle.

Every Red Heart Shines Toward The Sun

2010-09-08T20:49:00.002+08:00

"The Great Leap Forward Poured Down Upon Us One Day Like a Mighty Storm Suddenly and Furiously Blinding Our Senses."

"We Stood Transfixed in Blank Devotion as Our Leader Spoke to Us, Looking Down on Our Mute Faces with a Great, Raging,

and Unseeing Eye."

"Like the Howling Glory of the Darkest Winds, This Voice Was Thunderous and the Words Holy, Tangling Their Way Around Our Hearts and Clutching Our Innocent Awe."

"A Message of Avarice Rained Down Upon Us and Carried Us Away into False Dreams of Endless Riches."

""Annihilate the Sparrow, That Stealer of Seed, and Our Harvests Will Abound; We Will Watch Our Wealth Flood In.""

"And by Our Own Hand Did Every Last Bird Lie Silent in Their Puddles, the Air Barren of Sound as the Clouds Drifted Away. For Killing Their Greatest Enemy, The Locusts Noisily Thanked Us and Turned Their Jaws Toward Our Crops, Swallowing Our Greed Whole."

"Millions Starved and Became Skinnier and Skinnier, While Our Leaders Became Fatter and Fatter."

"Finally, as That Blazing Sun Shone Down Upon Us, Did We Know That True Enemy Was the Voice of Blind Idolatry; and Only Then Did We Begin to Think for Ourselves."

No, this is not an excerpt from a novel about The Great Leap Forward, although it is in fact a "social" critique of the events that occurred in China between 1959 and 1961 where tens of millions of people died of starvation. The above words are actually song titles from the second album by California based post-rock band Red Sparowes entitled Every Red Heart Shines Toward the Sun. The song titles recount the Great sparrow campaign, an ill-conceived attempt by Mao Zedong to improve Chinese agriculture but which actually triggered a major ecological imbalance in the environment, thus leading to mass starvation. The music itself is your standard post-rock. If you don't know that term, then the music probably isn't for you. It's epic, depressing, poignant, and shrill. And there are no vocals to be found. Hence, song titles that read like a story. If you want to listen to it I can send you a copy. Otherwise, find it on your own.

Why this? Why not? There has to be a comparative literature piece in here somewhere.

Food Coma

2010-09-05T00:53:00.000+08:00

What did I do during my last week of summer vacation? Thanks for asking. Well, I went to Macau for a Shue Yan English Department retreat and ended up eating so much I was nearly incapacitated. Lunch, meeting, coffee break, meeting, 12 course dinner, bed, breakfast, meeting, lunch again. I ate goose liver, baby pigeons, oyster cream soup, and whatever else had the misfortune of being placed in front of me (minus the chicken feet). Then, the day after our return from Macau, another all-you-can-eat buffet of gluttonous goodness, all thanks to the fine folks at SYU. They satiate us with food and then unleash us upon unsuspecting freshmen and sophomores for the next 15 weeks. How cunning they are.

I'm teaching 15 credits at Shue Yan and taking 6 credits as a student at CUHK. Will I be spreading myself thin? Will the wife forget who I am when I return home at midnight with dark circles under my eyes and literary theory books in tow? Only time will tell.

Will I have the time to retype and upload my Taipei recap? To the 3 of you who actually care about reading such mundane topics, the answer is...if you insist.

Summer, Where Have You Gone?

2010-08-31T18:50:00.000+08:00

Back from Taiwan. Wish I would have brought my computer, and not a leather bound journal, as it would have been easier to upload my writing about the trip. So I will have to transcribe slowly over the next few days.

Possible titles:
1) Taipeidestrian
2) Fucking Hostel (Ode to Pantera)
3) Going to National Doctor Sun Yat-sen Memorial Hall for a Toilet Break

Orientation at CUHK today was slightly puerile. First semester will definitely set the tone for the rest of the course. However, I have to drop the one class I was looking forward to (Major Contemporary Novels--Less Than Zero and Imperial Bedrooms in the syllabus) because I cannot reschedule a writing class that I have to teach around that time.

I'm sitting here with my mother-in-law in utter silence because I cannot speak to her, and what words I do know in Mandarin can not find the gumption to ascend my throat and announce their presence. Unfortunately, the Chinese grammar book I am currently reading does not inspire confidence when time to speak it. Abysmal.

Bound (For)Mosa

2010-08-23T19:45:00.000+08:00

Leaving for Taiwan tomorrow. Need a spark, a slight kick in the pants. A week to myself before I succumb to the rigors of academics. Semesters of the same.

My plan is Taipei for a few days and maybe climb a mountain, ride a bike through tea fields, visit a gorge. Eat lots of Taiwanese cuisine. Find a hot spring that cures muscle pain. Watch people go about their daily routines. Refresh and recharge.

Any Taiwan travelers? Leave me suggestions.

Senselessness That Hits Home

2010-08-17T22:04:00.000+08:00

I woke up this morning and turned on the computer, which in and of itself is just like any other day. However, after checking fantasy baseball scores (and being once again disappointed) I logged on to Facebook and found some rather shocking news as posted by a college friend of mine. An English professor from our university shot and killed his wife and then turned the gun on himself.

http://readingeagle.com/article.aspx?id=242044

What is particularly horrifying about this is not the fact that I was close with this professor. In fact, I had never taken one of Dr. Okafor's classes while at Kutztown. The extent of my association with the man was to give him a cursory glance as he stood outside Lytle Hall smoking a cigarette in the middle of the afternoon. Maybe I would nod or say hello and most likely he would say hello back. I had the chance to watch him talk to some of his students, and at the time I felt that he was a little aloof, a bit distant. Back then I attributed this feeling to a perceived "superiority complex" that I felt a lot of professors had. After having worked the groves of academe for the past three years I realize that he is like the majority of lecturers or professors that roam these hallowed halls. While busy plying his craft, researching, writing poetry, articles, essays and dissertations, he left his social skills (if there were any in the first place) behind. But there was obviously more going on than anyone could have known.

The horrifying aspect is that his wife had to deal with domestic violence in the past.

http://readingeagle.com/article.aspx?id=242091&obref=obinsite

Cheryl Okafor's first husband "battered her for years" according to court records. After they separated her estranged husband shot and killed her boyfriend at the time. From being beaten with a baseball bat, to watching her boyfriend shot and killed, to marrying again and falling victim to the ultimate case of domestic violence, the story is truly tragic beyond words. To know one of the participants in this grisly and cowardly act, even though not well, lends greater credence to the event. Hopefully more will come to light than what has already been written about, but it seems unlikely.

A New Era

2010-08-15T16:08:00.000+08:00

Starting today this blog will undergo a glorious transformation. A new era will begin. Months of aimless wandering and nonsensical ideating will be abolished. Let us begin.

April Fools?

2010-04-01T20:10:00.000+08:00

Good news in Hong Kong. I was admitted into the MA program for Literary Studies at CUHK and will be attending this August. Very excited to be on both ends of academia.

I have also found my newest addiction: Fantasy baseball. I have joined a league with some of my good friends from back home and I cannot wait to start the baseball season. My team is the Hong Kong Suzie Wongs and I can almost guarantee a top finish. You hear that Hallman? Ottolini? I'm finishing first. The rest of you can lick it.

Easter Holiday! 5 days of reading argumentative essays, finishing up The Bridge of San Luis Rey, taking a daytrip somewhere around Hong Kong, and enjoying the last break before the summer.

I have no ruse for you. Happy April 1st.

It's A Trap!!!

2010-03-23T19:25:00.000+08:00

Could this layout color scheme be any uglier? I may give it a go, but for now, this putrid abomination will be the default.

Finally finished Shantaram after spending 5 weeks with it. Sad to see it end, but happy to embark on another journey.

I have the neck of a sixty-year old. Disappointing at this age.

Blame It On The Bangles

2010-03-19T15:28:00.000+08:00

To my anonymous poster: I used the ideas you gave me and wrote a reinterpretation of the lyrics to "Manic Monday" and how they pertained to an unhappy young woman who longed to go to Italy and, well, I should have stopped after I said "Manic Monday." Seriously, The Bangles? Of course, they were favorites of mine back when I was a little-league-skipping-stay-at-home-and-practice-pro-wrestling-moves-on-pillows eight-year old kid. I had a boombox. I liked Susanna Hoffs. I walked like an Egyptian in (of all places) McAdoo. But because of this task that I so monumentally failed on, a better idea has occurred to me. And it has nothing to do with "Hazy Shade of Winter."

Big playoff game tomorrow at 11:00. If we lose, the rubber match is at 1:00. The regular season was very fun and relaxing. Playoff time is more stressful and serious. Last week we managed to play loose and have fun. Pretty easy game. Tomorrow will be a greater challenge.

I'm really hoping Eddie Chambers can beat Dr. K this week but I really don't see how he will be able to do so. Klitschko is just too imposing of a specimen and Chambers, although quick and talented, won't be able to penetrate the big man's guard. My gut choice is Klitschko by UD, but it should be an interesting fight anyway.

Monday Mars

2010-03-15T22:13:00.001+08:00

What a crazy week. First round of the playoffs,the Pacquiao-Clottey fight, sleeping on the couch, and agonizing through Herta Muller's The Passport have kept me away from the computer. Subsequently, I have also started to read Zhu Wen's I Love Dollars and am still working on Shantaram.

My recap of the softball playoffs at http://www.hongkongsoftball.com

To my anonymous commenter, I am working on your story. I'll put it up soon. Giving your ideas a bit of a twist.

Watch Logorama. Eat a Mars bar. Cut your nails.

Should You Choose To Accept It

2010-03-06T23:01:00.001+08:00

A little ingenuity, and a quick translation, and now...italics! I was worried that I would be stuck writing everything in the same font.

Here's the deal. Anybody who has somehow ventured onto this page can help me out. I am looking for a few assignments. Simply give me a topic, setting, character, theme, anything, and I will write a short short story of less than 500 words about it. Hopefully I can compile a nice portfolio of tiny pieces. Now get to work internet wanderers!

Hong Kong Hodgepodge

2010-03-06T16:01:00.003+08:00

I love being able to find streams of boxing matches and watching them on Saturday and Sunday morning live. Tomorrow, Devon Alexander vs. Juan Urango in a 140lb title unification match. Should be an exciting affair. I'm leaning towards Alexander the Great to outbox and outhustle Urango and win by UD.

The cold weather is supposed to come back to Hong Kong next week. Afterwards, when the temperature rises and the humidity causes the walls and bathroom floor of our apartment to sweat, I may be talked into buying a dehumidifier.

Still reading Shantaram. Also reading Men and Cartoons by Jonathan Lethem as my short-story supplement. Wondering why I can't get the italics to work on this computer. I'm not a fan of this particular gadget.

Softball playoffs next week. We have the first game, at 10AM. Should be a really good time at King's park. Playoff softball in the best league in Asia!

This is drab.I need an assignment of some sort. Somebody give me one.

Wednesday Whitewash

2010-02-24T08:48:00.004+08:00

Finally getting back into the flow of the semester. Three more months of work and then it is summer break. Would like to go somewhere new this summer, but getting back home and possibly going back to the mainland for a bit are higher on the priority list. Maybe I'll just do the Jakarta weekend instead.

Had my graduate school interview last night along with two other applicants (both young female Hong Kongers). I am on a completely different level than them, but I'm not sure what exactly the school is searching for. I think my chances are pretty good though.

Things I've been listening to, watching, or reading lately:
Soul Control- Cycles
Blacklisted- No One Deserves To Be Here More Than Me
Dial- self-titled EP
Dead Swans- Sleepwalkers
Small Brown Bike- The River Bed
Envy- A Dead Sinking Story
Glassjaw- live in HK
Shantaram- Gregory David Roberts
A Thousand Years of Good Prayers- Yiyun Li

Tiger

2010-02-20T17:09:00.003+08:00

I'm back from hibernation. It has been longer than needed, but the tank is full and the engine will run.

Happy 2010 (50 days late) and Year of the Tiger (1 week late). It has been that kind of year for me. Typical and not transformative. Things have been looking up of late. I promise to write here more often about a wide range of topics. Most will be writing exercises, ramblings to myself, pointed pieces towards an individual or group. Maybe I'll become a critic. Maybe start writing fairy-tales. But practice will be done and words will be published and juices will stream.

New layout and format to come. Less talk, more rock.

Off to chop some chives for some homemade jiaozi.

Ode to My Blog

2009-11-16T22:17:00.002+08:00

Oh, Dead Sea Fruit!
Why do the days evade me?
Where have all the seconds gone?
I want to update you, nurture you, cultivate a relationship with you.
But I find myself distracted with
marking horrible narrative essays and
computing batting averages and
thinking of weddings and
reading Booker Prize finalists and
devising possible research proposals and
procrasturbating and
well,
procrasturbating some more.

One day I will mold you into something spectacular.
Until then you must ride the pine with the rest of them.

The Hard Life

2009-10-13T19:56:00.004+08:00

I sit here on a Tuesday night eating garden vegetable soup and writing opinions on short story collections...see here:

http://thebookatticforum.blogspot.com/2009/10/september-book-club-dont-tell-me-truth.html?showComment=1255434742583#c8985224578907800550

I've also been writing the recaps for the Saturday softball games (which are posted on the Rumor Mill section of the website).

That means that this week has been my busiest week writing since back in June. Whatever it takes to kick-start you back into gear.

This week I was asked to accompany one of the Hong Kong travel teams to play in the Bangkok Tournament. Unfortunately, I had to say no. So why exactly would I give up the chance to play softball, in Bangkok of all places, with a group of great guys?

Because of that man. The Chief Executive himself, "Bowtie" Tsang. The sartorial one will grace the Shue Yan campus and deliver the keynote address for the 35th anniversary graduation commencement. This means that yours truly must don the cap and gown and sit through hours of graduation propaganda (in Cantonese of course) and watch a bunch of students with whom he has never made contact with receive their diplomas.

All this while his softball team is playing in a tournament, and partying, and living it up, in Bangkok.

At least there is only one graduation per year. That means that it won't interfere with the Taipei, or Manila, or Jakarta tournaments. Not sure if I will be invited to play in those. Only time will tell.

The Month of Birthdays

2009-10-01T18:11:00.005+08:00

Today is October 1st. Happy 60th Birthday to the People's Republic of China. I will soon revel in your birthday festivities (primarily watching the firework display from the comforts of my apartment, while indulging in watermelon and/or pineapple juice). Action packed, I know.

September was a blur. The new semester started. I have 3 new Freshmen English Usage classes that I enjoy very much (it is early yet), and 3 Sophomore Writing classes, in which half of the students are mine from last year (the joy). I don't have a single day off, but my schedule is not all that bad. Plus, most days are spent at the main campus, which means my commute is 2 minutes instead of 35.

I also joined the Hong Kong Slow Pitch Softball Association. It is the highlight of my week. The only downfall is that I didn't join last year (because for some ludicrous reason, I didn't know about it). Every Saturday we have a game, sometimes two, and they are competitive, fun, and ridiculously hot. I play for The Doghouse. Bunch of good guys on my team, and I'm looking forward for the rest of the season. Keep track of my stats here:

http://www.hongkongsoftball.com

And yes, my name is spelled Edinger. I need to find somebody to correct that. And while they are at it, correct my slugging percentage, because it is impossible to have a lower slugging percentage than batting average, but yet, I do. My goal is to win Rookie of the Year, although there is some stiff competition. I'll keep the masses (all 4 of you) updated.

The Things We Carry

2009-08-27T21:00:00.002+08:00

As has been painfully evident over the course of the last few months, my interest in keeping this blog active has waned considerably. When I first started writing this last year, I was excited at the prospect of keeping friends and family in tune with my adventures across the world. But just as I have become immersed in a daily routine here in Hong Kong, so to have these same friends and family become immersed in their lives back at home, and so the initial honeymoon phase of me writing and getting excited to see who commented on my piece the next day has fizzled out. I'm not sure what my next plan of action is regarding this blog. I may take it in a totally different direction. I may euthanize it. As for now, I'll play it by ear.

Speaking of honeymoons, I would like to go one shortly, because earlier this month my beautiful girlfriend and I were married in a small office in Shijiazhuang, Hebei, P.R.C.. We went for a quick marriage because I want her (and she wants to as well) to live with me in Hong Kong for the upcoming school year. We got married before the semester because I knew the paperwork to get her here would take at least 6 weeks. So I play the waiting game and hope that she will be here by mid-October at the latest.

Over the winter we are planning to have a ceremony in her hometown. After that, a short honeymoon, then back to Hong Kong, and then (if the US government allows it) I will bring her stateside with me and we will have a big wedding there. All this is purely speculative of course, as things have a way of impeding your path and causing you to fall flat on your ass (nice banana peel HKU). Asshole universities aside, I am truly enamored with my beautiful, thoughtful, caring, intelligent, and amazing new wife. I can't wait for her to join me here in thsi city, so we can start carving out our own niche, and continue on with what life has to offer.

Until next time...

Attn: Naomi

2009-08-02T19:31:00.003+08:00

Any word yet?

I haven't heard a thing. Phone calls all this week until I know for sure. Keep me posted. Something is amiss here.

I Smell Summer

2009-05-28T18:35:00.002+08:00

The weather in Hong Kong has been absolutely dreadful the past 5 days. Overcast, gloomy, with rain that never goes away. Luckily, I've managed to hibernate inside my apartment and go grading-crazy on final exams. As of today, I have finished marking all 152 of them. Now, I just have to wait for the approval from the English Department, tidy up some loose ends, and then I can get ready to start my summer holiday.

As much as I would like to go traveling this summer, I am putting it off for another year or so. Instead, I will head back to Pennsylvania for some home-cooking and quality time with friends and family.

Still no word from HKU on the MFA program. The waiting makes me crazy.

I started reading David Mitchell's Ghostwritten last week. This book is blowing me clear out of the water. The parallels that I am discovering between what I'm writing and what he wrote in this book are numerous. The only difference is that his is much more ambitious and planned out. with a broader scope and a better sense of style and structure. But if anything, reading this will make me work even harder. I can't wait to read the rest of his stuff.

Another One Bites The Dust

2009-05-13T19:20:00.003+08:00

Another semester done. All that's left is to finish marking persuasive essays (so many plagiarisms included) and administer and correct the final exams. Then it's back to Pennsylvania for the summer. Hopefully, people are down for a camping/road trip of some sort.

Over the last few weeks I've been doing a lot of hiking, bike-riding, playing basketball, and enjoying the humid weather. It will be nice to escape Hong Kong while the summer months pour on the heat. Not that Pennsylvania offers more of a reprieve, but anyway...

Saw a good movie the other night called City of Life and Death about the Nanking Massacre during World War II. It was even more brutal than expected, but overall very touching and well done.

Also saw Have Heart play a show at a place called the Warehouse in Aberdeen. It was the first leg of their World Tour which will take them to 6 different continents and mass handfuls of countries. Unfortunately for them the turnout wasn't the best (maybe 60 people tops) and it was on Mother's Day. They were decent, but I kind of had the impression that they were a bit bored (crowd didn't help I suppose). Not a good thing only one week into such a massive tour.

That's the story. Maybe a few more posts before the summer holiday? We'll see.

May is for Manny

2009-05-03T18:58:00.002+08:00

It's May already. A few more classes, some essays to grade, a final exam to invigilate and mark, and then home for the summer.

Went to the Devil's Advocate to watch the Pacquaio/Hatton fight. The atmosphere was absolutely electric, with an equal mix of Filipino and British boxing fans. And then the fight started and it was a six minute massacre. Pacquaio absolutely destroyed Hatton, which was somewhat disappointing because I expected more from the 'Fat Man.' I was hoping for a see-saw battle, Fight of the Year, type event. It turns out Pacquiao is another level completely. I hope that Pacquaio/Mayweather comes to fruition, for that could be the event of the decade in the sport of boxing.

Also went hiking and camping this weekend. Things I learned are:
1. Always check to see if your tent has poles BEFORE you leave for the weekend
2. Always bring insect repellant so that you do not suffer the wrath of mosquitoes and sand flies
3. Don't bring 3 books, when 1 is enough
4. Don't cram bananas in your bag...they squish open and make everything sticky
5. Don't pack toothpaste on the bottom of the bag...it squeezes open and makes everything minty

Is there anything more annoying in Hong Kong than the touts on Nathan Road? Do we really need 7,481 tailors in Tsim Sha Tsui?

Nighttime Coffee Rant

2009-04-22T20:47:00.002+08:00

The application has finally been submitted. Now all I can do is the play the waiting game. I'll admit, my passion for writing on this website has waned substantially since I started working on my novel/writing sample. I attribute it to a combination of things, the primary and most important being that I exhaust myself in reaching my daily quota with that writing, therefore decreasing my desire to write anything extra on here. To be honest, I'm not even sure who reads this site anymore. I know that some visitors still arrive, but they are mostly anonymous lurkers. Add to the fact that I haven't been on any trips lately, instead choosing to fall into the monotonous routine of working/reading/writing/sleeping, and well, quite frankly, who wants to read about that?

If your are curious about my daily activities here in the Pearl of the East, well here you go: I play basketball quite frequently, accumulate novels like I'm building a library, struggle to find the right words on a nightly basis, show Vicky Christina Barcelona to my students for 'cultural' reasons, drink a hefty amount of coffee, and attempt to reverse the rapidly approaching 'middle-age' clock. Oh the joy.

If you read this and actually want me to write about something, anything, please drop me a line. Having a goal, a plan to tackle, is infinitely more exciting than me telling you I had egg fried rice for lunch and saw a one-armed man playing the harmonica for money in Causeway Bay.

Briefs

2009-04-11T22:12:00.002+08:00

My application goes out next week after a month of preparation. Finally. Nothing left to do but sit back and hope for the best.

Just finished reading The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Díaz and was floored by it; the narration, the story, the language (which alternated between English, Spanish, Spanglish, ghetto, and geek, sometimes in the course of one paragraph), the characters, the history lesson. Everything about it was well done. Yes it was hyped. Yes, everyone has read it. Yes, it won the Pulitzer as well as a handful of other prizes. But this one was definitely worth it.

Saw Misery Signals last week in a gymnasium. One of the best shows I've been to in a long time (probably since I've only been to two in the last two years). I'll put up some side stage monochrome pictures at a later date.

I can't believe the semester is almost over. I'll be back home before I know it. Does anyone want to hire me for the summer?

Uptown Girl

2009-03-30T21:27:00.003+08:00

The end of March. Still working on my writing sample to submit to Hong Kong University. I should wrap that up, as well as the application, within a week or so, then mail it out and play the waiting game. In the meantime, the semester is wrapping up quickly. A few more tests and writing assignments, then finals, then summer time.

Recent activities included a visit from Michelle, in which we got dressed to the nines and attended a high table English Society dinner at the Regal Kowloon in Tsim Sha Tsui; went to the Zoological and Botanical Gardens to ogle at a multitude of monkeys, a Chinese porcupine, and some flamingoes; saw a Malaysian horror film at the Hong Kong International Film Festival; was coerced into my first karaoke singing experience (I tackled Uptown Girl and a few Eric Clapton songs); and stood witness to Hong Kong's version of Mardi Gras, (the Rugby 7's), in which foreigners of all nationalities did their best to dress idiotically, get shitfaced, and represent their countries in the most asinine way possible.

Concert review of the upcoming Misery Signals show sometime in the near future, as well as possible brief book reviews.

Have a happy April!

Breakfast

2009-03-20T11:08:00.003+08:00

The Hong Kong International Literary Festival turned out to be a fantastic time. I had tickets to three events on Sunday, actually ended up attending four, not to mention I was able to have breakfast with Miguel Syjuco and Nam Le on the balcony of the Pawn. I was able to listen to two of the youngest literary superstar's in the world pick each other's brains and chat friendly about writing and life. Miguel was an extremely humble and friendly young man who is still in disbelief of all the publicity he is receiving for his writing. He talked to me for about ten minutes and offered me some advice on writing, advice that I will never forget. Nam was also nice and very intelligent when he spoke, but he seemed a little more used to the attention that was being bestowed upon him, as his book is out already and has been garnering praise from every corner of the world.

I also had the chance to meet Janice Y. K. Lee and Rana Dasgupta, two more very young and successful authors. Both talked about the pitfalls of writing and how they managed to persevere through it all and churn out successful works of fiction. I managed to resort into fanboy mode and get two autographed copies of their books as well. I felt like a kid again.

Let the writing commence.

Literary Lions

2009-03-09T18:23:00.004+08:00

The Man Hong Kong International Literary Festival began last night on the rooftop terrace of the Fringe Club. I went down to check it out, pick up some books, and buy tickets for some of the events that are going on this week. The big name this year is Margaret Atwood, and she is giving a free speech at CUHK next Monday that I will try to attend. I did manage to get tickets to three events, all next Sunday. I am looking forward to all three.

The first is a talk with Nam Le and Miguel Syjuco about what it takes to write an award-winning book, as both of these men have in 2008. How much writing and struggle is there in the process?

The second event is called Making a Splash and is about debut authors who have managed to hit it big with their first work of literature.

Finally, I'm attending a round table discussion with three authors who have put out short story collections in the past year. Once again, Nam Le will be there and I am looking forward to reading his collection The Boat, as it has been called one of the best fictional debuts in years by many critics.

It will definitely be an entertaining and informative week for the literary arts in Hong Kong. Just what this city needs to inject a little soul into its veins.

March (Already?)

2009-03-02T17:01:00.003+08:00

Not much to update on of late. It is March (already!) and things are moving along at a comfortable pace. I have not been updating the blog lately because I have been hard at work on polishing up my writing portfolio. I plan on applying to grad school in the next month and I need to hand in an 8-12 page writing sample. All of my time has been spent focusing on that.

Other than that, the semester is moving along quickly. Last week the students had to do oral presentations. Their assignment was to write an original 10-15 minute drama and perform it, all in English, with props and costumes if they so desired. They did an outstanding job, managing to poke fun at me on occasions, as well as doing some other funny stuff (such as the Obama Girl spoof in which my sister was affectionately known as Apple Lee Hamburger). Creativity and laughter was apparent all around and the kids seemed to really enjoy performing. Hopefully I will be able to put some links up, as some of them were videotaped.

Philippines Pictures III

2009-02-19T20:06:00.003+08:00

Philippines Pictures II

2009-02-19T19:40:00.003+08:00

Possible huge news on the horizon. In the meantime, settle for looking at more pics from the Philippines.

The preceding pics are from the town of Talisay as well as Taal Volcano, one of the 5 major volcanoes in the Philippines. My travel crew and I decided to take a 3 hour jeepney road over the worst "roads" possible just to get to the town of Talisay. The town itself borders Lake Taal, which is where Taal Volcano is located.

The volcano is still active although it hasn't erupted since 1977. It has, however, shown signs of unrest over the past 20 years. We climbed it early one morning (the only group to not ascend it on horseback) and it took us about 45 minutes to get to the top. After the descent, are clothes were covered in a fine layer of volcanic ash. Enjoy.

Philippines Pictures I

2009-02-12T18:58:00.005+08:00

On my recent trip to the Philippines I managed do a few things I had never previously considered, some of which (dancing on stage at a White Beach tranny show, and then on the next night taking over a Sabang "disco" with interpretive dance moves and managing to distract not only the entire clientele of the club, but also the girl dancers themselves) I do not have the pictures for on my camera. I hope to obtain them soon so I can post them and you can join in on the fun.

Other things, such as riding in a tricycle, jeepney, catamaran, eating Balut (duck fetus eggs), climbing an active volcano, and enjoying the Filipino culture, I have documented. I share the first batch of pictures here today.

The pictures are from White Beach and Sabang on Mindoro Island, and the town of Batangas on Luzon Island. It is a brief glimpse of the first three days of the trip, before the actual climbing of Taal volcano and before Manila (which is where my camera died).

Because of my camera battery mishap, you will not get to see my pics of Rizal Park in Manila, nor will you see pics of The Hobbit House, a bar in Manila with a major Tolkien fetish, decorated just like 'The Shire', and staffed with midgets and dwarves. Not to mention they had kick-ass Filipino cover bands playing 70's and 80's tunes. What is better than having a 300 beer selection and having it served to you by a Filipino dwarf?

Nothing.

Letters to the Editor

2009-02-07T20:53:00.006+08:00

Upon returning from my jaunt to the Philippines I found my mailbox inundated with letters to the editor (read: me). Before I regale you with colorful accounts of my adventure, let me take the time to answer a few of them.

Dear Clint,

I have noticed that you have not blogged recently. I am starting to become worried. I noticed in your last post you mentioned traveling to the Philippines. I hope you did not meet with any unfortunate circumstances. Did you go to Mindanao? As you know there are insurgents there with a fond predilection for kidnapping and beheading American tourists. I hope you are well.

Worried About You,
Portland, Oregon

Dear WAY,

No need to be alarmed. I am safe and sound, back in the cozy confines of my Hong Kong digs. I appreciate your concern for my well-being and safety. I was well aware of the dangers of Mindanao, so on this trip I managed to stay well north of the aforementioned area. However, if I ever find myself back in the Philippines, I might just take a visit there anyway, because the thing is this; I don't look like an American.

I spent the majority of my trip convincing people I was in fact a Pinoy. It was quite easy too. You see, my skin color is darker than most people from the Philippines. Plus, I have an understanding of Philippine geography. In other words, I know more than Manila and Cebu. So if anyone asked me where I was from, I would say Vigan, or Puerta Princesa, or General Santos City. Plus, I would name-drop all the Pinoy boxers I knew (Manny Pacquaio, Rey Bautista, Z Gorres, Nonito Donaire, Gerry Peñalosa, just to name a few). If all else failed, I would speak a few words of mangled Spanish, which sounds close enough to Tagalog for it to be effective.

There you have it. That is how I managed to survive my trip unscathed, and how I would succeed in the future if any problems arose. By the way, Filipino people are completely lovely and gracious.

All the best,
Clint

Dear Clint,

I have been reading your blog faithfully for 3 months now. I have a serious question for you. Will you father my child?

Yvonne,
Copenhagen, Denmark

Dear Yvonne,

I regret to inform you that at this stage in my life that is just not possible. I am happily content with being selfish and taking care of myself and have many more things I would like to do before I rear the cutest and smartest little tyke ever.

Thank you for your kind offer.

All the best,
Clint

Year of the Ox

2009-01-24T20:35:00.003+08:00

Happy Chinese New Year to all my friends in Hong Kong and Yantai.

It's that time of the year again, when 1.4 billion people all decide to set off fireworks, travel around on hard seat carriages or buses, play mahjong, hand out red envelopes, eat and drink themselves silly, wear something red, and buy new clothes.

Since most of those things don't pertain to me, I am heading out of Hong Kong. I'm flying into Manila tomorrow afternoon and I plan on spending 6 days traveling around the Philippines. Not an extraordinary amount of time to see all that I would like to see, but there isn't enough time in life to see everything I want to see, so there is no use in complaining. I am looking forward to this trip very much. Pictures and full report upon return.

This will be my last holiday, except 2 days for Easter, of the semester. Kind of sucks considering the semester started this week, but I digress. I will make the most of it while I can. Then it is down to serious business when I get back.

Until next week...

China, Mogwai, School

2009-01-19T21:16:00.003+08:00

Back from China and back to school.

My ten day trip to China came to an end over the weekend. I had a great time with everyone, ate like an emperor, had some laughs, and made a very big decision that I am thrilled about. More on that at a later date.

I arrived back in Hong Kong on Friday and immediately began marking the final exams I didn't get to before I left. I spent all of Friday and Saturday finishing those up, so that I could have one free day off before the new semester resumed. Plus, during the evening I would be going to my first "real" concert since arriving in Asia.

Now I say "real" concert because I had a ticket to go see Mogwai at an auditorium in Kowloon Bay. I was very excited to see them because I have never seen them live before, and from what I heard or read, they are extremely loud and powerful in the live setting.

I did go to a "concert" last year in Yantai, which was part of the Changyu Wine Festival. It was quite possibly one of the biggest abominations to my ears ever. Basically, a huge group of Chinese pop stars came to Yantai to perform at this festival. They would sing a song or two, then exit the stage so that another star would make their grand arrival, and then they would sing. Repeat process for 3 hours. In Mandarin. With about 20,000 Chinese in attendance, clapping inflatable sticks on the wrong beat and shining fluorescent lights, all in zombie-like unison.

As for the Mogwai show, I arrived early and waited in line for general seating. When the doors opened, I managed to get right up front, directly in front of one of the speakers. Big mistake. I have seen many bands in my lifetime, been to many concerts of all varieties. In those experiences I have seen many loud bands, and have stood very close to them to boot. But nothing braced me for the loudness that is Mogwai. They aurally assaulted my ears, but did it in such a beautiful way that I didn't mind being temporarily hearing impaired out of my right ear for the next half a day. Definitely, one of the best concerts I have been to in the last 5 years, and one of those shows that made me pine for the old days of playing music in the Red Room.

Finally, it was back to school today. Start of the second semester. My students were their normal boring selves when it came to discussing their holidays. It seems only 1 person traveled, only 3 had fun, and the rest just slept and ate. Also my 9:00 class told me that I got skinnier over the break, while my 11:00 class told me I got fatter. Very astute group they are.

That's all for now. Stay tuned...

Hong Kong Hodgepodge

2009-01-04T19:38:00.005+08:00

It's that time of year again. Time for me to leave the comfortable coziness of my surroundings and do a bit of traveling. However, it will be a bit different this year as I am heading back to familiar territory; mainland China. I will be spending about a week in Yantai (my old home), a few days in Qingdao (one of my favorite cities), and a few days in Hefei (never been before).

So this means that the offices of Dead Sea Fruit Inc. will temporarily close down. I will be back in two weeks, rearing to go.

In the meantime, check out some random pictures of: a plateful of chicken testicles on Christmas day (message me if you want to know the particulars), the 3 wise men invading a mall in Tai Koo Shing, and some of my youngsters (yes, that is Fok Yu writing on the board).

Another Year Ends

2008-12-30T20:01:00.004+08:00

Tomorrow is New Year's Eve, a precursor to a new year and a chance to look back on the one that will soon be history. It is extremely cliché to say things like time flies or the older you get the quicker things happen, but these phrases are overused for a reason; they are completely accurate.

I recall being very excited last New Year's Eve because I was going to celebrate it with my friends in Yantai. However, what had me even more enthusiastic was my upcoming holiday, which was 2 weeks in Vietnam, followed shortly thereafter by almost 2 weeks traveling around China with my friend Tiff, who was flying in from San Diego to visit. Both trips ended up being some of the best moments of my life and I will never forget a single moment of them.

I was also happy for 2008 to come because I did not know where the year was going to take me. Coming to China had been an opportunity that presented itself under sudden magical circumstances. You might even say it was a bit of a prelude to divine intervention if you knew all the details and were so inclined. My teaching contract would be up in June and I had no inkling as to where I would end up next.

That next destination would be Hong Kong. In the middle of all this I took a weekend trip to South Korea, met an unbelievably amazing girl in Yantai, went back to the U.S. for the summer to see my family and friends, and turned 30 years old. On top of all this I witnessed monumental events in both my home country and my new place of residence; the election of the first black president in U.S. history, the Sichuan earthquake, and the 2008 Beijing Olympics just to name a few.

So I am here in Hong Kong and I have my sights set on the future again. My plans are not concrete, but they are there in fluid form, waiting to harden and be molded into something tangible. 2009 promises to be another adventerous year. At least I hope it does. Looking ahead with optimism definitely dulls the fact that you will turn another year older.

As for resolutions, everyone makes them, hardly anyone keeps them. I include myself in that list. Instead of modifying myself slightly, I would always attempt to give myself a complete make-over. An overhaul of epic proportions. I have learned my lesson. I will take gradual steps to become the person that I want to be. I realize that you cannot just wake up on January 1st and be a completely different entity; Gregor Samsa I am not.

So here in the last minute of the last round of 2008, I give thanks to my wonderful family, who have supported me in all my endeavors, no matter how auspicious or asinine, and also to my great friends all over the world. Let's have a healthy, happy, peaceful and prosperous 2009!

A Brief Intermission

2008-12-24T22:26:00.003+08:00

About 2 weeks ago I added a little counter to this page, to track the number of visitors I was receiving. I should have done it right when I started the page, but at the time, it was the least of my concerns. However, it is now installed and hanging out over there on the right, a little gray box sticking out like a diminutive sore thumb.

I installed it because I was curious to see how many people found their way to this insignificant mass of words, and I am pleased with the results. I have been averaging about 7 viewers a day! That's right, 7. This pleases me because there are only 5 people in my immediate family and I know they are not on here everyday checking up. Which means on any given day I have a handful of visitors who are either friends, students, or even better, strangers!

So if you're reading this, spread the word. As 2009 approaches, I want the readership of Dead Sea Fruit to increase to double figures. I'm looking for at least 10 readers a day. With your help and support we can make a positive change!

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all!

December Despondency

2008-12-22T21:44:00.004+08:00

Earlier today I finished all my grading so far for the semester. Classes ended last week, and I don't have to think about school until January 2nd, when I must invigilate the final examinations. For all intensive purposes, I should be in a wondrous and joyful mood. I'm not.

Christmas will arrive in 3 days and for the first time in my life, I feel nothing. I am not looking forward to it in the slightest. This will be my second Christmas in a row away from my family and I am starting to feel more and more detached in my thinking towards the holidays.

Last year was my first year away from home during Christmas, and not surprisingly, it was a little difficult. However, a few factors made it more tolerable than I had anticipated; Opening up my presents on Skype while my family watched from back home, a great group of friends to spend the day with, a climate that was similar to that of Pennsylvania winters. While Christmas is not widely celebrated in mainland China, there are still Christmas decorations and Santa Claus greeting cards to be found. I spent the day with my fellow expat friends who were also missing their holidays back home, and together we made the most of the day.

In Hong Kong, it is a different story. The temperature on Christmas is supposed to reach 75 degrees. The other two teachers here with me have left Hong Kong. My computer at home does not support Skype. It has the capability of being an extremely boring day. I don't mind missing Easter, or Thanksgiving, or having a quiet New Year's, but Christmas is the one day out of the year where family and close friends are absolutely essential, and for the first time in my life I will have to make do without either.

Christmas greetings and salutations are welcomed and extremely encouraged. Phone calls would be an added bonus. I hope everybody has a wonderful holiday. Enjoy your family and friends. Let's prepare for the year ahead!

Pride of the Philippines

2008-12-07T19:18:00.012+08:00

This morning I found myself leaving my apartment at 9:30 in the morning so I could go to the bar. My purpose was not to get completely inebriated before Sunday lunch, but to watch the Oscar De La Hoya/Manny Pacquiao fight live and in full Filipino glory. Anyone who follows the sport of boxing knows that Manny Pacquaio is the pride of the Philippines. In addition, Hong Kong has a very large population of Filipino workers, most of whom have Sundays off. The only place I could see this fight being more entertaining to watch is in Las Vegas, where it is being held, or the Philippines.

I ended up arriving at The Devil's Advocate, a sports bar in Wan Chai that is situated amidst cheap restaurants, trendy bars, and disreputable night clubs, right at 10. When the sun goes down the streets are teeming with drunken expats, prostitutes wearing neon skirts that end right below the ass, and working class Hong Kongers who are always on the move. On this particular Sunday morning, the streets were void of everything.

I arrived right as the telecast began for two reasons; I am a ravenous boxing fan and like to watch as many fights as I can, but more importantly, I was not sure how dedicated the Filipinos in Hong Kong would be when it came to watching the fight. Would they arrive before the bar even opened and stake a place in line? Would they get all the good seats, in turn, forcing me to stand for 3 hours? I would soon find that they are a dedicated and loyal group of fight fans, but I still managed to be the second person into the bar, thus securing a prime location to watch the events unfold.

After an undercard which featured 3 mismatches, 2 Carlsberg's, and a Tuna Melt on Foccacia bread, it was time for the main event. The bar was filled with at least 100 people, 90 of which were Filipino. There were even Filipino workers watching through the open doors of the bar from the bed of their pickup truck, parked directly in front on the street. It is said that in the Philippines, when Manny Pacquiao fights, all 90 million people will stop what they're doing and watch. It is also reported that there is absolutely no crime at all when one of his fights is televised. Such is the length that Filipinos will go to support their countryman and hero.

My table, that I had occupied for the previous two hours by myself, quickly filled up with Pacquiao supporters. At first they were confused by me. Who would I be rooting for? To the untrained eye one might say I even slightly resemble De La Hoya (or in any case, a Mexican). It's a good thing I had every intention of rooting for Pacquiao. It might have been uncomfortable going against the grain in that atmosphere.

This fight was being billed as "The Dream Match," a matchup of the best pound-for-pound fighter in the world in Pacquiao against the most marketable/popular in De La Hoya. A great little man in the prime of his career moving up 2 wight classes to take on a great bigger man nearing the end of his. Pacquaio is a tornado in the ring, a whirling dervish of unbridled ferocity and movement. However, he was the underdog because many believed De La Hoya was just too big for him. De La Hoya had the height advantage, reach advantage, and the technique (sound fundamentals and left hook) to take Pacquiao out. For this reason, it was frowned upon by diehard boxing fans. While the average fight fan who can only name a few boxers would salivate over the prospect of these two hooking up, the boxing "fraternity" scoffed at the size differential. There is a reason though why fights are fought in the ring and not on paper.

Filipino national anthem, Mexican national anthem, American national anthem, Michael Buffer and his "Let's get ready to rumble." It was time for the fight to begin. The fighters touched gloves, the bell rang, and for 30 seconds the interior of The Devil's Advocate was silent and still. Then Pacquiao landed a straight left hand right up the middle and the screaming and cheering began. Every time that Pacquaio landed a decent punch the patrons would go crazy. In between the first and second round, a man at my table started a "Manny, Manny!" chant. A small Pacquiao doppelgänger walked into the bar and everyone shouted in Tagalog to him and applauded. He smiled and joined the festivities.

Every round that went by, the cheers became louder for the Filipino hero. The two outspoken De La Hoya supporters (Westerners obviously) became more quiet and subdued. Pacquaio looked great. De La Hoya looked old. Midway through the fight it became clear that Pacquiao did not care about size differential. His speed and footwork were too much for De La Hoya, and his power shots were doing all the damage. And just like that, after 8 one-sided rounds, De La Hoya quit on his stool, and Pacquiao made an entire bar full of patrons erupt in a celebratory frenzy.

There is an old boxing adage that says "It's not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight in the dog." No fighter more clearly exemplifies this than Manny Pacquiao. When he fights, he says he does so for his countrymen. He says he feels their support when he steps into the ring. He is fiercely proud of his country, and in return, his countrymen are extremely loyal to him.

After the fight Pacquaio said to De La Hoya "You are still my idol," to which De La Hoya replied "No, you're my idol."

With that statement, Oscar De La Hoya has joined at least 90 million other people who share the same belief.

December Decisions

2008-12-03T19:25:00.004+08:00

At what point in our life do we make the transition from child to adult? Or more specifically, from a quasi-adult to full fledged adulthood? Obviously the answer varies, depending on the person asked and the criteria involved in determining what exactly constitutes being an "adult." I have thought at many points during my life that I was a grown-up, but looking back I realize I was grossly mistaken/naive/stupid/misinformed/fill-in-the-adjective-of-your-choice.

When I turned 18 I decided to celebrate my legal entrance into adulthood by getting a tattoo. I felt that by inking myself up I would shed my juvenile skin and leave all traces of immaturity behind. It occurred to me sometime later that not only did I pick tribal flash off the wall to get tattooed on my arm, but I was also working back drive-thru at McDonalds at the time. Not exactly the epitome of a modern man.

I though that moving to New York on my 24th birthday would be the next logical step, and for awhile I was on my way. I secured an internship/job at Now or Never Records and was paying over $500 a month rent sharing a tiny apartment with 2 others. Surely this was it. However, the label soon went under and I found myself working full-time as a waiter, partying with other like-minded people, and shirking responsibility to fully better myself (notwithstanding the internships at Star Boxing and Virgin Records).

After graduating university at the slightly unconventional age of 28, I found myself on a plane heading to China to teach at Yantai University. Without a doubt I would mature beyond my years. And while I did find myself accumulating life experience, knowledge, cultural appreciation, and subsequently showing my mettle and fortitude, I still did not feel like I had hit that plateau. This partially stemmed from my actual "teaching" experience, which seemed to me to be more of an exercise in mentoring the students, helping them with their grammar and pronunciation, and devising games for them to play so they would find themselves interested in learning English. 99% of the time I succeeded, but deep down I had a feeling that most people could have done what I did, if they had left their security blanket behind them and travelled across the world.

So I upgraded. I continued on to Hong Kong, where I now find myself at a much more legitimate university, teaching proper English courses, and simultaneously, finding myself even closer to "adult" nirvana. The reason for the change is, I believe, having a job in which you are respected, in which colleagues look at you almost directly instead of down on you from upon their soapbox. I have my own office and my own businesscards. On top of that, I find myself doing strange things like buying Italian silk ties and dress shirts in every color or thinking of what pair of wingtips would look best on me.

Though I find solace and happiness in where I am at this point of my life, I am now even more concerned with my next step. I have found myself stressing a bit too much as I plan for next year. Once again, as per usual with me, I can think of a few different paths I could take in my life. However, at this particular moment, I cannot stand behind any with complete conviction.

Decisions of the adult variety.

Supplemental Pictures II

2008-11-23T18:59:00.001+08:00

Still Here

2008-11-19T21:26:00.006+08:00

Yes, this is in fact an update. To my loyal readership, now numbering 7 strong, I have not forgotten about you. I have been extremely busy grading autobiographical essays, and as of tomorrow morning I will be completely finished. This will give me a few days before I move on to the next assignment that will undoubtedly drain me of my spare time.

Over the past few weeks I have remained busy in many aspects. I went on a 30 km bike ride with 9 of my students through the New Territories. I also went on my first junk trip with 2 of my colleagues, as well as members of the HKAAL (Hong Kong Association of Applied Linguistics.) We started our trip in the quaint fishing town of Sai Kung and boated across the Inner Port Shelter until we reached High Island, where we had a nice lunch and relaxed until our boat took us back. Pictures from both excursions to follow.

Expect more semi-regular updates in the near future. I have some things I would like to express in hopes of getting some feedback, advice, or criticism. That's all for now. I'll be back shortly.

Featuring America

2008-11-06T19:30:00.002+08:00

There is a new online forum that was launched today called Featuring America that I highly suggest you check out. Contained therein is my first published piece. A bit of social commentary dealing with the Chinese education system and what Americans could learn from it.

The idea behind Featuring America is as follows:

"The impetus for Featuring America was to create a forum for breakthrough writers and artists in this highly competitive publishing industry. Though we are attempting to provide a medium for the "unpublished" to share their talent, we gladly welcomed seasoned writers and artists as well, for the overall intent of this magazine is to showcase talent of all kinds. We felt it important to narrow our focus somewhat, but not overly so, and decided on "Featuring America" as both our title and our subject matter.

We are launching this magazine as a new president is elected by the American people, which seems only appropriate as this inaugural edition includes social commentary, art, and narrative pieces that speak about the environment, politics, and education, as well myriad of perspectives that define the "everyday." As we gather around our proverbial dinner tables, from diners in NYC to grassy knolls in the west, to ex-pats taking part in other countries' rituals, the fact that we've experienced or care about America and her future, binds us all to each other and to this multifarious North American land mass.

This space is not intended to present a case for nationalism of any kind. Rather, we want to celebrate diversity, ideals, modernity, and creative energy.

Welcome to the first edition of Featuring America. We're looking forward to seeing all that you bring to light here."

Peace and love,
Jac and Gil

If that sounds like something you are interested in, then please check it out. If not, do so anyway. It is worth it. If you are still not convinced, then read it for the simple reason that I contributed something. Then while you are there, read everything else.

Thank you.

November Hiatus

2008-11-02T18:20:00.003+08:00

I have not even considered writing an entry lately because I have found myself inundated with work, and in the process, tired as a result of it all. To briefly recap any salient points that might have transpired in my life:

I am in the middle of grading 155 autobiographical essays. The sea of red marks on each paper is enough to give me a headache. If I had a white flag, I would hoist it in surrender. Each paper takes me about 15 minutes to grade. After an hour, I am exhausted. At this pace I will have their papers completed by Christmas time.

I am still teaching the youngsters at Talented Kids. Actually, let me clarify. I am their English speaking supervisor/play partner. Teaching is done in small doses, when I am not scolding them or chasing them around the classroom. Exhausting work. My respect for primary school teachers increases weekly.

I am still receiving treatments twice a week for my neck and back problems. I am seeing a man recommended to me by my boss. He practices "Harmonious Healing Services" and has been working with me for almost a month now. He is not a chiropractor, but rather, a muscle manipulator. He has me working on reprogramming my body and muscles to act in synchronization. I have also received light acupuncture treatments for the past few weeks. I do not feel an immediate difference yet, but he tells me it will take a few months to acclimate myself and get back on track.

That's about it. I need to get these essays done as soon as possible so I could relax, read a book, write, maybe take a trip. As much as I would like to get some writing done, my red pen is dancing circles in my mind, and I must resume my task of correcting grammatical errors.

Until next time...

October Tribute III

2008-10-25T18:47:00.009+08:00

The triad of October birthdays in my family culminates today with my mother's. Before my two youngest sisters were born I always felt like the odd one out, with my birthday falling in July, and the rest of my family all celebrating in October. That feeling dissipated after Lexie and Sabrina were born. Still, October is a special month in my family, and today on the 25th I will pay my respect to my favorite woman in the universe: My mother.

It is difficult to begin writing about my mother. It's not that I don't have the words to describe her, but rather, I don't know where to begin. I feel as if I know my mother better than I know anyone else, yet because of this, it feels like an arduous task in putting her into words. I feel that language fails me right now, because even though my mother is a beautiful, caring, nurturing, fascinating, and warmhearted woman, these adjectives only reveal a fraction of who she truly is, and in order to know her and appreciate her, you must talk to her, interact with her, be taught by her, live under her roof, and sit down to one of her home cooked meals. It is then when you can begin to understand the magnitude and depth of her amazing character.

My mother is part of the reason why I am teaching here in Hong Kong. Undoubtedly, she would prefer if I was closer to her, and if I had to be teaching in another country she would opt for anywhere that requires less than 6 hours in the air to reach. However, my mother was a teacher, and when that early occupational choice came to a thudding halt back in 1978, she decided to change her profession. She went from teaching Catholic school children to opening up her own business specializing in antique jewelry and vintage clothing. She started off small, opening a tiny boutique in the basement of our house. And while she was planting the seeds for her future endeavors, she took the time to dedicate herself to teaching her newborn student.

One of my earliest memories of my mother was when I was a few years old. I used to sit across from her at the kitchen table or somewhere on the floor and she would hold up flashcards with words on them. I would say "table," "bedroom," and "grandmother," and she would smile at me and go through the deck a couple more times. My mother tells two great stories incorporating the wisdom she imparted upon me as a child. One involves me reading the Wall Street Journal when I was 2 years old, which is something I find funny on multiple fronts, especially since the only other time I ever picked up that particular newspaper was during Journalism class at KU. The second occured in kindergarten, where, at the end of the first week, my teacher pulled my mother aside and asked her if she was aware that I was reading at a 12th grade level, to which my mother replied, "Yes, I was waiting to see how long it took you to figure it out."

Because of my mother, I have been reading voraciously for as long as I can recall. Anything and everything I could get my hands on, I would tackle with youthful earnestness: Animal encyclopedias, The Hardy Boys mysteries, baseball card price guides, and video game magazines took up most of my youth. I would later graduate to classics like 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea, Robinson Crusoe, and Frankenstein, and eventually I would go to college and major in English Literature, for the simple reason that I loved to read all kinds of books.

In addition, one of my greatest aspirations is to publish at least one book. I have watched my mother writing books for over 20 years now. I remember her first rejection letter, and I noticed how afterwards, she would try even harder to make sure her vision was realized. And my mother does exactly that. She realizes her vision, no matter how impossible or grand it may seem. She is constantly trying to reinvent herself, stay ahead of trends, and keep focused on her work. She has owned and operated one of the largest stores of its kind for the last 20 years while simultaneously publishing almost 20 books. On top of this she is employed on a full-time basis as both mother and Ettinger Estate museum curator. Her devotion, dedication, and passion are an inspiration to me.

I have no problem admitting that I am a "Momma's Boy." I would do anything for my mother, for I feel that she is the sweetest, gentlest, most loving and compassionate person ever. When she told me to never smoke a cigarette, I listened. When she told me to treat people with respect, I listened. When I am feeling depressed or slightly off, she will pick up on it instantly, and do her best to right my wrongs. My mother has been my mentor, guide, confidante, and coffee buddy, among other things. More importantly, she has been the best mother I could ever ask for. And I know that is the one job that she takes the most pride in.

Happy Birthday Mom! I am extremely proud of you and everything you stand for. You have shaped me into the person I am today, and for that, I am eternally grateful.

I love you!

October Tribute II

2008-10-20T18:34:00.007+08:00

"Speak softly and carry a big stick, and you will go far."
-Theodore Roosevelt

If there is one quote which best describes my father, I would say it is this one, delivered by Theodore Roosevelt to the general public at the Minnesota State Fair in 1901, a brief two weeks before he would ascend to the presidency following the assassination of William McKinley. It is with absolute certainty that when my father reads this, he will laugh and crack a pecker joke, as he has been doing so for as long as I can remember. However, this is not the reason for my reference.

My father has always been the quiet member of the family. He is a private man who can be reticent of his affairs or opinions. However, when he speaks, people take notice. They listen. He is thoroughly economical with his words, but at the same time his arguments are forceful and incisive. So despite his inclination towards being slightly subdued at times, he more than makes up for it with the weight of his words. Speak softly, carry a big stick.

I have memories of living in Rancocas Woods, New Jersey, with my father, mother, and sister. We lived in a small log cabin with cartoon skunks painted on the shutters. I remember at the time thinking it was the coolest house ever. How impressed we are with things when we are 9 years old.

We lived here because my father was stationed at Ft. Dix. I remember sometimes, in the summer, he would take me to work with him. The ride to Ft. Dix was about 30 minutes and we listened to classic rock the whole time: Led Zeppelin, The Doors, Steppenwolf, Cream, Jimi Hendrix. It was these car rides and those musicians that started me off on my future musical path. When we arrived at the base, my father would joke around with his army buddies, sit down at his desk and read the paper, maybe finish the crossword. Then we would head out to the golf course, and I would caddie for him while he played a round with his colleagues. Sometimes, he would take me to an obstacle course and I would watch men rappel down wooden towers. I thought it was an exciting and thrilling job, but I knew nothing at the time of basic training or war.

It was in New Jersey when I first started playing sports. Basketball for a year, soccer for a few more, and my love at the time, little league baseball. From 4th grade until 7th grade, baseball was my life. I would play wiffleball in friend's backyards, go to the batting cages, throw rubber balls off walls for fielding practice, and when I wasn't playing I was buying baseball cards, trading baseball cards, or reading about baseball cards. And then, when it was game time, I would run my tiny 80lb frame out to second base, left field, shortstop, or whatever position I was penciled in for that day, and I would look across the diamond onto the bleachers or the side of the fence, and see my dad there cheering me on, and for a moment, I did not know of any greater feeling in the whole world.

Above all else, I am most impressed with my father for his dilligence and hardworking demeanor. He grew up on a dairy farm and was milking cows, loading hay, and delivering eggs at an age when most kids nowadays can't even be asked to clean their room without complaining. In his late teen years, he joined the Army and went to Vietnam. He returned and enrolled in university, graduating a short time later. He would retire from the Army at 45 as a major, after putting in time in Egypt, Panama, and South Korea, among other places in the United States. And instead of embracing his time off and relaxing with a beer on the local golf course, he would become bored with the idea of retirement, and go back to work.

Which leads me to the present day. My dad is currently employed as a prison guard and is undoubtedly the most intimidating guard there, regardless of age. I don't have to go anywhere near the prison to ascertain this statement. I know it is true. My close friends, the ones who have known my father for a long time, have an affectionate nickname for him: "The Crusher." They will say things to me like: "I saw the Crusher standing outside your mom's store," or "I saw the Crusher driving your car to work yesterday." And we will share a laugh, knowing that beneath my father's Charles Bronson-esque "tough guy" facade, they have nothing to worry about. Unless they disrespect him or get on his bad side. Then they don't stand a chance.

I am reminded about the story of Roosevelt, who was campaigning in Milwaukee in 1912 and was shot in the chest by an innkeeper. Roosevelt did not panic. He figured that since he was not coughing up blood he was in no immediate danger and, therefore, did not need to go to the hospital. Instead, with blood staining his shirt, he calmly announced to the crowd, "Ladies and gentlemen, I don't know whether you fully understand that I have just been shot; but it takes more than that to kill a Bull Moose."

For some reason this quote strikes me as something my father would say. It's probably because I have watched my father with admiration my whole life. He has always been the strong, determined, invincible leader, and no matter how many years go by, that opinion has never wavered.

Love you Dad! Happy Birthday! Have a healthy and happy 60th and may you have many more!

Talented Kids?

2008-10-13T18:29:00.010+08:00

This past Wednesday evening I received an email from a director of an English recruitment center. She obtained my email through one of my colleagues, and was looking for someone to fill a position that had suddenly come to her attention. She told me to forward my CV to her by the following morning, and if the employer was satisfied, I would have an interview scheduled later that day.

So I did, and they were, and I went.

My interview was scheduled for 6:00 in Tsuen Wan, which is the last stop on the red line of the MTR, about 45 minutes from work. Tsuen Wan marks the beginning of the New Territories, a 300 square mile area of land situated between Kowloon and the border of the People's Republic of China. The area used to be incredibly rural until the 1960's, with a population of only 400,000 people. However, due to Hong Kong and Kowloon becoming grossly overpopulated, many housing developments were built, and "new towns" rose up from the ground. In less than 50 years the population has increased to 3.5 million people.

I arrived at this gateway town, exited the MTR station, and found my way to the Nan Fung Centre, which happened to be right across the street. I took the elevator to the 15th floor and found the door I was looking for: Talented Kids

My interview took place at a small plastic pink table designed for children. I was barefoot and answered questions posed to me by a man who had a good command of the English language, but was terrified to apply it in an actual conversation. He stuttered, stammered, and made very little sense in explaining what exactly I would be doing. He told me I would teach 3 classes:

Trinity Guildhall Speech & Drama Young Performers (Age group 4-5).
Hooked on Phonics- Letter Sounds (3-5).
Hooked on Phonics- Kindergarten (4-8).

He told me a lot more information, but did so in a way where it seemed unimportant and pointless. He informed me it is a 20 week contract, every Saturday from 11-3, and it will pay 270HKD an hour. While I am not overly impressed with the money, I figure that I have nothing better to do on the weekend, so I might as well try to make a little extra. And plus, little Chinese kids are absolutely adorable. I might as well try my hand at it.

On Saturday I arrived at the classroom a few minutes early. I received my teaching materials and went to make myself comfortable. Three of my students were already in the class when I walked in the door. Upon seeing me, one of the girls burst into tears. She was not satiated until her mother came back into the room. I tried pacifying the girl with a smile and a hello. She replied hello to me, and then began crying again, this time even harder. It ended up being that she did not like the door shut. With the door open she could see her mother waiting outside for her. This gave her comfort. As soon as one of the students closed it, ungodly wails pierced the room.

This first class was my Young Performers class. My goal was to get them to actively participate in drama and activities. I tried to get all of them to sit down and sing a song with me. No dice. I tried to get them to play a game I made up for them. Nope. Let me mention that there were only 4 students in this class, yet there was always one student who was trying to leave the classroom, one who would ransack the toy collection, and one who wanted to envelop me in the miniature hula hoops that were strewn across the floor. The two girls actually tried to participate. The two boys were a little less receptive. And lest I forget, one of the girls was named...wait for it...

Fok Yu.

I wish I were joking. And it's pronounced just like you think it is. The only student in that class not to have an English name, and it's Fok Yu. I ended up calling her "honey" quite a bit.

My second class was a bit better. Three darling little girls (Belle Wong, Hung Ching, Venus Ho) who sang songs to me and impressed me with their English skills, especially for being so young. My syllabus for the day was to teach them the letter "M," however, we breezed through that in 15 minutes, leaving me 45 minutes to keep their attention on learning. I was only partly successful. Once again, the toys were discovered, and lesson time turned into play time.

The third class was a hybrid of the first two. The kids were older, but were by no means any more well-behaved. I taught them the "at" and "an" sounds, and for the most part they were fine. However, there was one boy in the class, ironically enough the oldest, who had very bad pronunciation problems and compensated for this by speaking in Cantonese all the time. When I told him to speak in English he would laugh maniacally and then fall backwards off his chair.

I am wondering what I have gotten myself into.

Blogging Injuries

2008-10-07T19:55:00.004+08:00

It pains me to write this, literally and figuratively speaking, but I am placing myself on the computer disabled list. I have been very productive, in terms of writing, reading, and researching, ever since I have arrived in Hong Kong. I look forward to coming home from work, reading some fiction, then researching random topics, and finally writing. In fact, I like it so much that it has consumed almost all of my leisure time. I am ever so slowly turning into an isolated recluse. I enjoy spending time at the local libraries.

However, this is not what has me worried. It is my health that is ultimately paying the price.

Recently, after long spells at the computer, I have noticed that my right arm has felt slightly "off." It started with slight discomfort and escalated into numbness and tingling in my fingers. Panicking, I did what most people with an aversion to doctors and lack of proper health insurance do: I analyzed my symptoms on the internet.

After frightening myself into believing that I had a serious problem, possibly heart or blood related, I decided to ditch the virtual medical help and go with something more concrete.

It was then that I found out the beauty of the Hong Kong hospital situation. I was informed by a colleague that since I was a Hong Kong resident, with a valid ID card, I just had to show up at any public hospital of my choice, go to the registration desk, pay 100HKD, and I would get thoroughly checked out.

Any problem, no matter its significance or magnitude, was just 100HKD. Runny nose? Food poisoning? Severed limbs? All the equivalent of $13 US.

So I hopped on the MTR, headed towards Chai Wan, and found my way to the Pamela Youde Nethersole Eastern Hospital, where I registered, deposited my hundred, told the triage nurses my problem, and was told to have a seat in the waiting room. I was slightly annoyed by the sign informing me I had to wait approximately 3 hours before I was seen. I became more irritated when the waiting room filled up, and the sign changed to 5 hours. However, right around the 3 hour mark my name was called and I went to see the doctor.

10 minutes and a battery of tests later, the verdict was in: ulnar nerve stress.

It makes sense, being that my computer posture is less than desirable. I have a habit of leaning against the desk, using my forearms to support my weight. I also have not mastered the art of relaxing while typing, as I have the tendency to tighten up considerably while working. This also does not help my pre-existing neck and back problems.

The moral of my story: A self-imposed ban or strict limitation on the amount of time I spend on the computer. I will do this for about a week and see how I feel. Also, a strict routine of yoga, pilates, or just plain old-fashioned stretching. Loosen the limbs. Work out the kinks. And I need to ease up a bit. I know the world moves fast but I don't have to participate in the race.

I need to get myself into shape to sit down at a desk and type.

Sad but true.

October Tribute I

2008-10-02T19:23:00.006+08:00

I remember many things about the year I spent in 3rd grade. Most of my recollections have nothing to do with school per se, but are more closely related to a time and a place. This was back when my family size was two-thirds of what it ultimately ended up being. The year was the transition point between living in Hopkinsville, Kentucky and moving to Mt. Laurel, New Jersey.

This was the year I lived in the small town of McAdoo, Pennsylvania.

The reason behind this one year sojourn to McAdoo was simple: My father was being stationed in South Korea for the year, and my mother wanted to move closer to her family. And so we moved.

Some memories that stand out during that year include:
1) Skipping little league practice on Saturday afternoons so that I could watch WWF and perform wrestling maneuvers on my pillows.
2) Taking a hula-hoop out to the backyard and naively hammering a young chick to death before feeding it to the neighbor's dogs.
3) Strutting around the block, boom box in hand, blasting The Bangles' "Walk Like an Egyptian" and "Manic Monday."
4) Faking it in swimming class by simply walking across the pool while freestyle stroking with my arms.

However, what sticks out most to me, was that it was the first time I can remember my sister Amber and I talking about what we wanted to be when we grew up.

My aspirations at the time were to be an exterminator or a zoologist, and I supplemented these dreams by vigorously reading every Funk and Wagnalls Wildlife Encyclopedia A-Z, as well as memorizing all my Wildlife Treasury cards, the ones that came in the green plastic carrying case. And while my career did not pan out how I had intended at the tender age of 8, I still look back at that time fondly.

Meanwhile, my sister had much larger goals. Her ambition had a much broader scope. She wanted to be a Cabbage Patch Kid, and then later, Strawberry Shortcake. And while this may have seemed amusing and youthfully cute, the fact remained, she was onto something. She had picked the two things that most excited and entertained young girls at the time. And my sister slowly turned into an entertainer herself.

While I was immersed in every animal, reptile, amphibian, bird, fish, insect, kingdom, phylum, class, order, family, genus, and species, my sister would be in her bedroom, practicing a song or dance routine to entertain us with. Whether solo, or with help from her friends or cousins, she would always elicit laughter and a smile from anyone in attendance.

Fast forward 22 years later and my sister is still living out her childhood dreams. She has transformed herself into an entertainer extraordinaire. What started out as runway modeling shows at FIT has evolved into something beyond most people's comprehension. Print modeling in catalogues and magazines, swimsuit modeling in Miami, Hawaii, Spain, and the Bahamas, small parts in TV series and on the big screen, and appearances on a multitude of websites devoted to a variety of topics were just the beginning. Then came the Howard Stern Show, and with that many new doors opened, including the one which she is most famous for: Obama Girl.

Around the same time Obama Girl took off, I also "took off." Mine was more literal, as I actually did leave the United States to move to China and start teaching. And despite living under The Great Firewall of China, I was still able to follow my sister's exploits and adventures over the computer and on the phone. I watched a satirical video catapult her into a household name. I saw her go from my little sister to the sexiest woman on the web and one of MSN's most influential women of 2007. I read about her trips to California to host an award show and her jaunt down to the White House to dine with the President. And I cheered her on every step of the way.

Recently, I have seen her branch out even more. While she is still playing the Obama Girl role to perfection (situational comedy with Ralph Nader and amazing Sarah Palin impersonations), she has also started on her jewelry line (with my mother) as well as her music career. With her fashion designing background and my mother's knowledge and expertise, she should have a hit on her hands. And having grown up with her, as well as attending many concerts with her, I can vouch for her love and desire of all things musical. I know that no matter what she sets her mind to, she will put every ounce of her being into it, because that is who she is.

So here, on your 27th birthday, I say this to you sister: I am extremely proud of you. Everything you have done and everything you will continue to do. I see how hard you work, and I see all the good and bad that comes with the territory. I know that no matter what happens, you will succeed in anything you want. You are a wonderful, beautiful, talented, smart, funny, and versatile human being, but more importantly, you are a great sister. I love you.

Happy Birthday Amber!

The End of September

2008-09-30T19:36:00.000+08:00

It is nearing the end of September, a full month since I have arrived here. Tomorrow is the 1st of October, which in China's calendar signifies National Day. National Day is China's Independence Day, and tomorrow marks the 59th anniversary of the People's Republic of China.

What does this mean for me?

Last year it meant a week off from teaching and the first of many road trips throughout China. This year it means a day off from teaching and uncertainty.

I am aware that the fireworks celebration over Victoria Harbour will be spectacular. The view of the festivities from my apartment will undoubtedly be magnificent. But after dealing with fireworks EVERY SINGLE DAY last year in China, is there really anything else that can be done with them? I have witnessed 4th of July fireworks over Manhattan from the Hudson River. I experienced the pyrotechnical explosions in Yantai ushering in The Year Of The Rat. I viewed, via television, the amazing display of combustible chemicals and gunpowder that preceded the start of the 2008 Beijing Olympics. I know what a great fireworks display is supposed to look like. I also know that if there is any country that will constantly reinvent and outdo itself in this category, it will be China. And while Beijing and Shanghai might have more authentic and meaningful ear-splitting gatherings, the skyline of Hong Kong alone will make it a memorable evening.

Now I need to figure out how to spend my day.

Happy National Day China!

Weather is Happening

2008-09-24T19:39:00.000+08:00

Typhoon Hagupit came and went yesterday and I am still here to tell the tale. In reality, it was not that brutal of a storm. However, at times, I did feel like I was on a rowboat in the middle of Victoria Harbour (which is not a good feeling to have when you are sitting at your desk, in your apartment, on the 26th floor of an anorexic building built into the side of a cliff.)

The Hong Kong Observatory issued a number eight tropical cyclone warning around 6:00 pm yesterday, effectively ending everyone's workday and shutting down most transportation into and out of the city. By this time, I had already made it home and decided to watch the festivities from my window. The sky went from a bleak, dismal gray to an ominous and menacing black in minutes. The wind kicked up. The rain raced past my window in horizontal patterns. And a large letter "F" (made of cardboard, aluminum, or some other mystery substance), made like a whirlpool in reverse and rose from ground level to over my eyes and out of sight in seconds.

After a few hours of rattling doors and windows and slight nausea, I decided to head outside and experience the typhoon more intimately. I got in touch with Jenny and Laura and the three of us took the elevator down to see what was transpiring below. We informed the security guard that we were going outside and he looked at us with a mixture of curiosity and irritation. Wondering why we would be foolish enough to wander outdoors during a typhoon, yet slightly annoyed that he would have to dislodge the umbrella, which was doubling as a lock on the building's entrance.

Our initial impression about the weather was favorable, for it was the first time since arriving that the humidity didn't envelop you as soon as you stepped outside. The gale-force winds were a welcome respite from the sweltering and clammy days that had marked my first month here. The lateral raindrops lightly smacked our faces. We stretched our arms skyward and beckoned the clouds to do as they wished. And after three minutes of this, we decided we had experienced enough. No point in standing around and waiting for a rogue tree limb to impale one of us, in the concrete courtyard of Shue Yan University, far away from home.

So we went back inside and rode out the remainder of the storm in the comfort of our swaying abodes. And by morning, despite the scattered branches, overturned plants, upended goalposts, and broken glass, things had returned to normal in Hong Kong.

Reverence Lost

2008-09-17T19:26:00.000+08:00

I get the feeling that being an author and an acclaimed researcher gets less reverence and admiration than Jacob Cohen did. This idea came to me last week when I attended a lecture given by a certain individual from England, a Professor of Literature at Manchester, who had for many years prior taught Comparative Literature here in Hong Kong. Besides being a teacher, he has also written many books and authored even more articles for publication. His topics include everything from Dickens, James, and Dante to Romanticism, Modernism, and Western Opera. A veritable farrago of themes, eras, styles and differences. This man has written about it all.

I was curious about the talk because the theme was Cosmopolitanism, and in it, the lecturer was going to somehow tie it in with Derrida (who years ago penned an article entitled "On Cosmopolitanism and Forgiveness"). I was excited at the prospect of attending this reading, partly because of the topic, but also because I wanted to immerse myself in the Shue Yan Academic English circle.

So I walked down to the room it was being held in. I opened the door and entered.

And I was the only person there.

I waited 5 minutes. By that time, a grand total of 9 people were in attendance. 9 people. 5 of them were teachers, only 2 (including myself) from Shue Yan.

As soon as the talk was under way I immediately began to squirm in my seat. The academic doctor who sat before me spoke of "exile," "sovereignty," and "global tourism." He name-dropped Joyce, Forster, Kant, and Foucault. He verbalized this in a sedate English accent. And he continued to do so for over an hour.

It was a monumental disaster.

Had he been reading his paper to a group of English graduate students, it might have been an effective presentation. However, the students who were in attendance were not on that level. If the level that the speech required was the top floor of a skyscraper, then these students were subterranean.

An example of a student reaction and subsequent dialogue:

"Could you please explain what you were talking about in 25 words. I came here to practice my listening skills but I only understood 4 words of what you said."

"Well. It's about the idea of forgiveness and how it is a power struggle. Do you know who Derrida is?"

"Who?"

"Derrida, the great French philosopher and critic."

Blank looks and silence ensues.

The moderator then stood up and asked if any one else had a question. The same student raised her hand.

"What is the best way for us to practice our English?"

My advice for her. Stay far away from graduate level discourse.

Somewhere, a group of literati are channeling their best Jacob Cohen impersonation. Or maybe you know him by his more commonly used name, Rodney Dangerfield.

"I don't get no respect."

Supplemental Pictures I

2008-09-09T20:51:00.000+08:00

New Friends in a Globalized World

2008-09-08T16:55:00.000+08:00

The first two people I met here in Hong Kong are fellow teachers at HKSYU. I met them the day after I arrived, knocking on one door to make my presence known, meeting another later that night at dinner. They both arrived in Hong Kong via PiA (Princeton in Asia), which is a fellowship that places recent graduates of top universities in the US into different jobs throughout Asia.

Jenny just graduated from Princeton with a degree in English Literature. She was born in Anhui Province, China and moved to New Jersey when she was 4. She taught English for two months in Hunan Province as part of her fellowship program, so she has a little bit of experience in the nuances of teaching English in Asia.

Laura recently graduated from Georgetown with a degree in Culture and Politics, minor in African Studies. She is originally from Milwaukee, but is by no means a traditional "Midwestern girl." She has spent much of her last 4 years drinking grown men under the table, memorizing every gossip rag ever published, and traveling to exotic locations like Senegal, where she volunteered to teach English to the natives.

The two are extremely different, but both are very adventurous and a lot of fun to be around while peregrinating around the city. It was because of our wanderings that we stumbled upon one of the most iconic places in all of Hong Kong, Chungking Mansion.

Prior to the day we boarded the MTR and traveled under Victoria Harbor towards Kowloon Peninsula, we had done most of our exploring on Hong Kong Island. Every day we would board a bus, then hop on the subway, and get off at a different stop. One day it would be Causeway Bay to explore Times Square and check out the shopping. The next would be Wan Chai to find our teaching building and apply for our Hong Kong ID. We would travel to Central, the focal point of the island, and ride the world's longest covered escalator. At night we would meet fellow PiA'ers and head to Lan Kwai Fong, where we would try on fur coats and pose for pictures in the Russian ice bar or smoke apple shisha at a hookah lounge and make friendly with one another.

Then one day we decided to go to Kowloon. After getting off at the Tsim Sha Tsui exit, we stepped outside and were immediately bombarded by touts selling "copy watches," cheap phones, and illicit massages. And then, directly ahead of us, was the monstrosity known as Chunking Mansion. So we took a look inside.

British writer George Adams in his short story entitled "A Night in Chung King," calls Chungking Mansion a "decrepit rabbit warren of a building." On the other hand, TIME magazine, in it's annual The Best of Asia, referred to Chungking as "The Best Example of Globalization in Action." The dichotomy between these two statements are vastly different, however, both ring extremely true.

For those not in the know, Chungking Mansion is a 17 story, complex network of guesthouses, restaurants, clothing shops, junk stores, foreign currency exchanges, and foulness. It is widely known as being the cheapest place to stay in Hong Kong, and because of this, is a haven for backpackers and bargain hunters. This cheapness is put on display for all to see; The exposed electrical wires, the various insects and rodents that inhabit every nook and cranny. It is all part of the filthy appeal.

It is here where you can buy a sari, a pirated Bollywood DVD, a bowl of curry with tandoori bread, a secondhand mobile phone, and a Bob Marley T-shirt, all in the course of 5 minutes. It is a melting pot of Hong Kong's ethnic minorities, from countries spanning the globe. Gordon Mathews, a professor of Anthropology at City University of Hong Kong has "informally counted 120 nationalities" to have spent time on the premises.

While walking around, you feel a sense of fear, yet you also feel safe. You feel that the conditions are unendurable and overwhelming, yet you also feel that this is urbanization in it's most primal and humane form. And it is this polarity that makes you want to go back and do it all again.

Hong Kong Shue Yan University

2008-09-04T19:59:00.000+08:00

If HKSYU were a television show, it would be an educational hybrid of The Brady Bunch and The Sopranos. A family run university with an orderly, sinister undercurrent.

Allow me to digress.

There is nothing overtly or inherently corrupt or criminal about the university, at least superficially. However, it is family oriented, in a culture in which familial bonds are stronger than most.

Prior to my arrival in Hong Kong, I had incorrectly assumed that Shue Yan was your normal, private liberal arts university. I did know that it had recently been accredited as a university after 35 years of college status. I also knew that it was one of the few, if not only, universities offering 4 year degree programs in Hong Kong.

What I failed to realize is that the President, Academic Vice-President, (the aforementioned F.C.) and the Administrative Vice-President are all from the same bloodline.

Not really relevant to a lower tiered teacher such as my myself, but interesting to say the least.

Although the semester has not officially started yet, the academic rigmarole is in full swing. All this week the new teachers have been made to sit through buffet lunches, departmental meetings, and induction ceremonies, where we talk about topics like Outcomes Based Teaching and Learning Initiatives, Teaching Excellence, and Plagiarism. We have toured the library facilities, perused oral presentation rubrics and taken crash courses in ILN (Internet Learning Network). But the real fun will not start until Monday, when I am thrown into a class of 40 business or sociology majors, and expected to teach them the finer points of the English language.

My schedule this semester consists of 5 classes of English Usage, meeting for 3 hours a week. All of my students will be freshman, and the majority will be terrified of me initially. However, I have the tendency to make students feel at ease quickly. I will see if that translates into a positive learning atmosphere.

The only negative I see early on is the commute to work. I was under the impression that I would be teaching on campus. With only 3 buildings on campus, I figured going to class every day would be a breeze. Not the case.

Starting this year, Shue Yan has opened up a new building in the Wan Chai district. The commute, which can be done by a bus-to-bus combo, or a bus-to-MTR combo, takes about 45 minutes each way. The reasoning behind all of this is because Shue Yan just received university status, therefore, they have been afforded the right to spend a heap of money on the school. Unfortunately, this money can only be spent on building things, like new classrooms, or computer labs. Hence, the new building.

The academic adventure begins...

Arrival

2008-09-02T09:22:00.001+08:00

I have arrived and it feels glorious.

The majority of my flight to Hong Kong was spent propped up against the window, airplane pillow acting as a buffer, as I managed to take a handful of individual catnaps that somehow added up to nearly 10 hours worth of sleep. When I was not dreaming I was eating, watching episodes of Curb Your Enthusiasm, playing games, and even managed to catch a movie, Be Kind Rewind. As I awoke from my final brief slumber, we were approaching Hong Kong International Airport, and the view from my window was stunning. The setting sun cast a bright orange tint over the sea, boats and junks of all sizes spread out in various directions, and skyscrapers loomed larger and brighter than I could have ever imagined. And then we touched down.

I cleared customs, called Dr. Hu (affectionately known as F.C. for the duration of this trip) and lugged my 80 pounds of luggage onto the airport express, where I would travel for 30 minutes to Hong Kong Island to meet F.C. and be escorted to my living quarters.

I am living in the Residential and Amenities Complex of Shue Yan University, a massive building less than 3 years old, which is situated on top of a hill in the North Point section of Hong Kong Island. My apartment is tiny, furnished with an undersized twin bed, dining room table, closet, television, desk, a few chairs, bathroom, a washer, small refrigerator, hot plate, microwave, and the most dazzling and breathtaking view I have ever encountered. My window overlooks part of Tai Tam Country Park, past Happy Valley, over Causeway Bay, Wan Chai, Admiralty, Victoria Peak, Central, and all the way to Victoria Harbor. I can lay in bed and look at three of the tallest buildings in the world simultaneously. And every so often I will glance out of the window and make eye contact with some of Hong Kong Islands' most magnificent birds of prey, who soar and glide effortlessly, and reaffirm my altitude, in case I have forgotten just how high up I actually am.

And you wonder why I have a permanent smile on my face when gazing outward across the island?