Goodbye 2010

Happy New Year! (all three of you)


2011 will bring wonderful changes to this blog. Here are the options:

1) Delete and start a Twitter account. What do I really have to say to the random handful of people that accidentally come across this page that I can't do in 140 characters or less?

2) Redesign it, throw up some ads, and try to make $0.40 a month.

3) Turn it into the coolest blog around, like that one of Kim Jong Il just looking at things...
     http://kimjongillookingatthings.tumblr.com/

One of these three glorious choices will happen. Only you, and you, and maybe you over there, will have the final say.

Goodbye to 2010. We welcome a fresh start in a new calendar year. Be healthy and happy!

Things My Students Write (Lesson 1)

The assignment: Write a process essay.

Fairly open-ended. I encourage creativity so I don't assign them specific assignments under the topics I am required to teach them. So it was write a process essay about something with which you have experience. Here is the first sentence from an essay titled: How to make girls chase you (as a man)


"Traditionally, girls are to be chasing and act as a chooser that, even if you have done everything "right" and have had social verification from girls that other than her, she will still not choose you actively."

WTF? Feel free to decipher.

Things My Students Say or Do (Volume 1)

New column here at Dead Sea Fruit. Pretty self-explanatory. Your winner for Volume 1 is...

Giants Win!!!!!!!!!

The San Francisco Giants are the 2010 World Series Champions! What a remarkable playoff run it was, as the Giants got stronger as they progressed. A truly awesome spectacle to watch, even if I was on the other side of the world doing so. I'll say it now. This team's core is nasty and they could very well be back next year. I'd like to hope so.

Anybody in California want to hire me?

Fear The Beard

I am two San Francisco Giants victories away from moving to California. Unbelievable! Hopefully I do not jinx anything by typing this. Only time will tell.

It's actually kind of surreal to see the Giants in this position. I have been a fan since 1988 and they have only been in the Series twice (1989 and 2002, both losses). They have not won it all since 1954 and are in a position to win their first title since moving to San Francisco.

The vibe and electricity in San Francisco is palpable and I envy all those in attendance (Loo!) who are witnessing this colorful cast of characters play their best ball of the year.

This one is for Timmy, Kung-Fu Panda, The Beard, Smiles, The Bat, Uribe, Andres the Giant, Huff Daddy, Buster, Cain, Sanchez Squared, Bumgarner and the rest. Go Black and Orange!

Will Clark for President 2012.

You Don't Have to Come and Confess, We're Looking for You

Forgot about this little guy. Shit happens.

Halloween is fast approaching and I would like to dress up as the Bed Intruder this year. A very cliché choice this year I'm sure, but one I feel I can pull off with aplomb.

Five words to describe my post-graduate classes this semester: "Basically...Rob and Son, Crucial".
If this makes no sense to you, then welcome to my world.

If this Giants-Phillies series goes to 7 games, I may keel over. On the other side of that coin, do I start looking for jobs in NorCal?

A Hullabaloo in 2502

It's that time of the semester when things are starting to be put into motion. The formalities and introductions are done. Soon it will be a continual parade of marking exams, papers, and speaking presentations. And that is not counting all of the work I have to do at CUHK. I am already dragging a bit, feeling tired and sore, my age slowly creeping up on me and making its presence felt.

Events in the past week have made me take a step back and evaluate the things I hold dear to me. I can be a very selfish and stubborn person, but I am trying to better myself in every way possible. I know that things will continue on the right path.

List time.

Things I've been reading, watching, or listening to:

Beowulf- book
Misery
Leaving Las Vegas
Get Him To The Greek
A plethora of screamo (I hate this term, can we just call it passionate hardcore?) like Daitro, Suis La Lune, Sed Non Satiata, Envy, Touche Amore, Loma Prieta, etc.
End of a Year- You are Beneath Me
Animals as Leaders- Animals as Leaders

Much more that I am spacing out on.

Finally, one more week left in the MLB regular season. Giants are up by one game with six to play. If they make the playoffs, I will seriously consider moving to San Francisco in 2012. If they make the World Series, I will definitely move there in 2012. If they win it all, I may spontaneously combust. You heard it here first.

Is This Really Happening?

Well, is it?

The Big Show

Read a great piece today on the sad story of former Major League Baseball pitcher Eric Show, best known for allowing Pete Rose's record-breaking hit as well as sporting one of the tightest mustaches of the 80s. An eccentric by sporting standards, he had his share of bad luck follow him around and ended up addicted to drugs. Read it here:

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/otl/news/story?id=5543839


In other news; Umbrella etiquette: Why does no one in Hong Kong have it? If you've ever been out in the rain in Hong Kong, you'll know all about it. Not to be confused with Sunbrella etiquette. Get at me before I lose an eye to a Tai-tai's umbrella spoke.

Crackle

The thunderstorm with heavy, relentless doses of lightning that rocked Hong Kong last night was pretty intense. Some of the bolts seemed to touch down nearby, and at one time a crackle and flash of dull red exploded just outside the window, bathing the inside of the apartment for a few seconds. Heavy stuff.

Speaking of heavy stuff I listened to Trenches- The Tide Will Swallow Us Whole today. Mid 90s Zao meets  Isis at a Deftones show. Pretty good for a 2008 release in an overcrowded genre. If you want it, let me know.

Why the sudden rash of music posts? Not sure. I've been listening to more recently, at least more than I had been for the past few months. Sometimes you just want to vent, type the words to make them more real, jot them down for posterity. An audio album in the written word.

Better to be diligent than idle.

Every Red Heart Shines Toward The Sun

"The Great Leap Forward Poured Down Upon Us One Day Like a Mighty Storm Suddenly and Furiously Blinding Our Senses."

"We Stood Transfixed in Blank Devotion as Our Leader Spoke to Us, Looking Down on Our Mute Faces with a Great, Raging,       

and Unseeing Eye."

"Like the Howling Glory of the Darkest Winds, This Voice Was Thunderous and the Words Holy, Tangling Their Way Around Our Hearts and Clutching Our Innocent Awe."

"A Message of Avarice Rained Down Upon Us and Carried Us Away into False Dreams of Endless Riches."

""Annihilate the Sparrow, That Stealer of Seed, and Our Harvests Will Abound; We Will Watch Our Wealth Flood In.""

"And by Our Own Hand Did Every Last Bird Lie Silent in Their Puddles, the Air Barren of Sound as the Clouds Drifted Away. For Killing Their Greatest Enemy, The Locusts Noisily Thanked Us and Turned Their Jaws Toward Our Crops, Swallowing Our Greed Whole."

"Millions Starved and Became Skinnier and Skinnier, While Our Leaders Became Fatter and Fatter."

"Finally, as That Blazing Sun Shone Down Upon Us, Did We Know That True Enemy Was the Voice of Blind Idolatry; and Only Then Did We Begin to Think for Ourselves."

No, this is not an excerpt from a novel about The Great Leap Forward, although it is in fact a "social" critique of the events that occurred in China between 1959 and 1961 where tens of millions of people died of starvation. The above words are actually song titles from the second album by California based post-rock band Red Sparowes entitled Every Red Heart Shines Toward the Sun. The song titles recount the Great sparrow campaign, an ill-conceived attempt by Mao Zedong to improve Chinese agriculture but which actually triggered a major ecological imbalance in the environment, thus leading to mass starvation. The music itself is your standard post-rock. If you don't know that term, then the music probably isn't for you. It's epic, depressing, poignant, and shrill. And there are no vocals to be found. Hence, song titles that read like a story. If you want to listen to it I can send you a copy. Otherwise, find it on your own.

Why this? Why not? There has to be a comparative literature piece in here somewhere.

Food Coma

What did I do during my last week of summer vacation? Thanks for asking. Well, I went to Macau for a Shue Yan English Department retreat and ended up eating so much I was nearly incapacitated. Lunch, meeting, coffee break, meeting, 12 course dinner, bed, breakfast, meeting, lunch again. I ate goose liver, baby pigeons, oyster cream soup, and whatever else had the misfortune of being placed in front of me (minus the chicken feet). Then, the day after our return from Macau, another all-you-can-eat buffet of gluttonous goodness, all thanks to the fine folks at SYU. They satiate us with food and then unleash us upon unsuspecting freshmen and sophomores for the next 15 weeks. How cunning they are.

I'm teaching 15 credits at Shue Yan and taking 6 credits as a student at CUHK. Will I be spreading myself thin? Will the wife forget who I am when I return home at midnight with dark circles under my eyes and literary theory books in tow? Only time will tell.

Will I have the time to retype and upload my Taipei recap? To the 3 of you who actually care about reading such mundane topics, the answer is...if you insist.

Summer, Where Have You Gone?

Back from Taiwan. Wish I would have brought my computer, and not a leather bound journal, as it would have been easier to upload my writing about the trip. So I will have to transcribe slowly over the next few days.

Possible titles:
1) Taipeidestrian
2) Fucking Hostel (Ode to Pantera)
3) Going to National Doctor Sun Yat-sen Memorial Hall for a Toilet Break

Orientation at CUHK today was slightly puerile. First semester will definitely set the tone for the rest of the course. However, I have to drop the one class I was looking forward to (Major Contemporary Novels--Less Than Zero and Imperial Bedrooms in the syllabus) because I cannot reschedule a writing class that I have to teach around that time.

I'm sitting here with my mother-in-law in utter silence because I cannot speak to her, and what words I do know in Mandarin can not find the gumption to ascend my throat and announce their presence. Unfortunately, the Chinese grammar book I am currently reading does not inspire confidence when time to speak it. Abysmal.

Bound (For)Mosa

Leaving for Taiwan tomorrow. Need a spark, a slight kick in the pants. A week to myself before I succumb to the rigors of academics. Semesters of the same.

My plan is Taipei for a few days and maybe climb a mountain, ride a bike through tea fields, visit a gorge. Eat lots of Taiwanese cuisine. Find a hot spring that cures muscle pain.  Watch people go about their daily routines. Refresh and recharge.

Any Taiwan travelers? Leave me suggestions.

Senselessness That Hits Home

I woke up this morning and turned on the computer, which in and of itself is just like any other day. However, after checking fantasy baseball scores (and being once again disappointed) I logged on to Facebook and found some rather shocking news as posted by a college friend of mine. An English professor from our university shot and killed his wife and then turned the gun on himself.

http://readingeagle.com/article.aspx?id=242044

What is particularly horrifying about this is not the fact that I was close with this professor. In fact, I had never taken one of Dr. Okafor's classes while at Kutztown. The extent of my association with the man was to give him a cursory glance as he stood outside Lytle Hall smoking a cigarette in the middle of the afternoon. Maybe I would nod or say hello and most likely he would say hello back. I had the chance to watch him talk to some of his students, and at the time I felt that he was a little aloof, a bit distant. Back then I attributed this feeling to a perceived "superiority complex" that I felt a lot of professors had. After having worked the groves of academe for the past three years I realize that he is like the majority of lecturers or professors that roam these hallowed halls. While busy plying his craft, researching, writing poetry, articles, essays and dissertations, he left his social skills (if there were any in the first place) behind. But there was obviously more going on than anyone could have known.

The horrifying aspect is that his wife had to deal with domestic violence in the past.

http://readingeagle.com/article.aspx?id=242091&obref=obinsite

Cheryl Okafor's first husband "battered her for years" according to court records. After they separated her estranged husband shot and killed her boyfriend at the time. From being beaten with a baseball bat, to watching her boyfriend shot and killed, to marrying again and falling victim to the ultimate case of domestic violence, the story is truly tragic beyond words. To know one of the participants in this grisly and cowardly act, even though not well, lends greater credence to the event. Hopefully more will come to light than what has already been written about, but it seems unlikely.

A New Era

Starting today this blog will undergo a glorious transformation. A new era will begin. Months of aimless wandering and nonsensical ideating will be abolished. Let us begin.

April Fools?

Good news in Hong Kong. I was admitted into the MA program for Literary Studies at CUHK and will be attending this August. Very excited to be on both ends of academia.

I have also found my newest addiction: Fantasy baseball. I have joined a league with some of my good friends from back home and I cannot wait to start the baseball season. My team is the Hong Kong Suzie Wongs and I can almost guarantee a top finish. You hear that Hallman? Ottolini? I'm finishing first. The rest of you can lick it.

Easter Holiday! 5 days of reading argumentative essays, finishing up The Bridge of San Luis Rey, taking a daytrip somewhere around Hong Kong, and enjoying the last break before the summer.

I have no ruse for you. Happy April 1st.

It's A Trap!!!

Could this layout color scheme be any uglier? I may give it a go, but for now, this putrid abomination will be the default.

Finally finished Shantaram after spending 5 weeks with it. Sad to see it end, but happy to embark on another journey.

I have the neck of a sixty-year old. Disappointing at this age.

Blame It On The Bangles

To my anonymous poster: I used the ideas you gave me and wrote a reinterpretation of the lyrics to "Manic Monday" and how they pertained to an unhappy young woman who longed to go to Italy and, well, I should have stopped after I said "Manic Monday." Seriously, The Bangles? Of course, they were favorites of mine back when I was a little-league-skipping-stay-at-home-and-practice-pro-wrestling-moves-on-pillows eight-year old kid. I had a boombox. I liked Susanna Hoffs. I walked like an Egyptian in (of all places) McAdoo. But because of this task that I so monumentally failed on, a better idea has occurred to me. And it has nothing to do with "Hazy Shade of Winter."

Big playoff game tomorrow at 11:00. If we lose, the rubber match is at 1:00. The regular season was very fun and relaxing. Playoff time is more stressful and serious. Last week we managed to play loose and have fun. Pretty easy game. Tomorrow will be a greater challenge.

I'm really hoping Eddie Chambers can beat Dr. K this week but I really don't see how he will be able to do so. Klitschko is just too imposing of a specimen and Chambers, although quick and talented, won't be able to penetrate the big man's guard. My gut choice is Klitschko by UD, but it should be an interesting fight anyway.

Monday Mars

What a crazy week. First round of the playoffs,the Pacquiao-Clottey fight, sleeping on the couch, and agonizing through Herta Muller's The Passport have kept me away from the computer. Subsequently, I have also started to read Zhu Wen's I Love Dollars and am still working on Shantaram.

My recap of the softball playoffs at http://www.hongkongsoftball.com

To my anonymous commenter, I am working on your story. I'll put it up soon. Giving your ideas a bit of a twist.

Watch Logorama. Eat a Mars bar. Cut your nails.

Should You Choose To Accept It

A little ingenuity, and a quick translation, and now...italics! I was worried that I would be stuck writing everything in the same font.

Here's the deal. Anybody who has somehow ventured onto this page can help me out. I am looking for a few assignments. Simply give me a topic, setting, character, theme, anything, and I will write a short short story of less than 500 words about it. Hopefully I can compile a nice portfolio of tiny pieces. Now get to work internet wanderers!

Hong Kong Hodgepodge

I love being able to find streams of boxing matches and watching them on Saturday and Sunday morning live. Tomorrow, Devon Alexander vs. Juan Urango in a 140lb title unification match. Should be an exciting affair. I'm leaning towards Alexander the Great to outbox and outhustle Urango and win by UD.

The cold weather is supposed to come back to Hong Kong next week. Afterwards, when the temperature rises and the humidity causes the walls and bathroom floor of our apartment to sweat, I may be talked into buying a dehumidifier.

Still reading Shantaram. Also reading Men and Cartoons by Jonathan Lethem as my short-story supplement. Wondering why I can't get the italics to work on this computer. I'm not a fan of this particular gadget.

Softball playoffs next week. We have the first game, at 10AM. Should be a really good time at King's park. Playoff softball in the best league in Asia!

This is drab.I need an assignment of some sort. Somebody give me one.

Wednesday Whitewash

Finally getting back into the flow of the semester. Three more months of work and then it is summer break. Would like to go somewhere new this summer, but getting back home and possibly going back to the mainland for a bit are higher on the priority list. Maybe I'll just do the Jakarta weekend instead.

Had my graduate school interview last night along with two other applicants (both young female Hong Kongers). I am on a completely different level than them, but I'm not sure what exactly the school is searching for. I think my chances are pretty good though.

Things I've been listening to, watching, or reading lately:
Soul Control- Cycles
Blacklisted- No One Deserves To Be Here More Than Me
Dial- self-titled EP
Dead Swans- Sleepwalkers
Small Brown Bike- The River Bed
Envy- A Dead Sinking Story
Glassjaw- live in HK
Shantaram- Gregory David Roberts
A Thousand Years of Good Prayers- Yiyun Li

Tiger

I'm back from hibernation. It has been longer than needed, but the tank is full and the engine will run.

Happy 2010 (50 days late) and Year of the Tiger (1 week late). It has been that kind of year for me. Typical and not transformative. Things have been looking up of late. I promise to write here more often about a wide range of topics. Most will be writing exercises, ramblings to myself, pointed pieces towards an individual or group. Maybe I'll become a critic. Maybe start writing fairy-tales. But practice will be done and words will be published and juices will stream.

New layout and format to come. Less talk, more rock.

Off to chop some chives for some homemade jiaozi.